


Still Losing Our Minds

by donttouchmeimdylanocryin



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Eventual Sterek, Hurt Stiles, I promise, Lots of Crying, M/M, PTSD Stiles, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Stiles is almost 18, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Yeahhhh, allison is still dead, because i have no idea where i am going with this, because i just like being sad, but happy ending of course, but i want it to go on for a while, derek is 22, fast paced, i will add more character tags as i go along, im so very sorry, just how i like it, slow burn but, sterek, such a fucking slow burn, this is basically how i see sterek happening, what's left of the pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-01-18 19:43:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 25,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1440460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donttouchmeimdylanocryin/pseuds/donttouchmeimdylanocryin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles isn't coping well after the Nogitsune and neither is the rest of the pack. Or what's left of the pack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Too Bad

He’s awake after hours of tossing and turning and finally falling asleep. He’s sure he only got a few hours but he doesn't really care. He doesn't get up. He doesn't want to. There is nothing motivating enough to make him. He doesn't want to face the uninviting and disappointing world. He’s not even hungry. So what’s the point of doing anything important? 

He’s not sure how long he laid in bed before there was a knock at the door. He didn't bother getting up. He just let out a long sigh. 

“Stiles? It’s me.” Stiles froze at the sound of Derek’s voice. “Can I come in?” Stiles can just barely hear the sadness in his voice. 

“No.” Stiles groans out softly, knowing Derek can hear him.

“Too bad.” Derek opens the door, steps in and closes it behind him in one quick, effortless stride. 

Stiles sits up, resting back on his elbows and stares at Derek’s permanently pain-stricken face. 

“What do you want?” Stiles breathes out trying to sound irritated and uninterested but it makes him sound tired. He collapses back on the bed and turns over, his back to Derek.

“You need to get up.” Derek takes a step closer to the bed as he huffs the words out.

“What are you even doing here?” 

“I-,” Derek knows why he is here but he can’t just tell Stiles that he cares and is worried about him. Stiles would probably laugh at him. Derek knows that Stiles has helped him before and made is clear- without words, obviously- that they are friends. But Derek helping Stiles is different. It’s more vulnerable to him and Derek doesn’t do vulnerable. “I need your help with something.” Derek let’s out in question form. 

“Why would you need my help? I’m fucking useless.” Stiles says through a harsh, humorless laugh.

Derek practically flinches at Stiles’ self-hatred. He takes another step forward, his knees meeting the side of the bed. 

“You’re not useless. Don’t say that.” Derek tries to sound calm, which he is definitely not, but it comes out with a growl. 

This time Stiles flinches. He flings his body over and looks at Derek with disbelief and anger. Derek can hear his heart beat pick up. He hasn’t heard that in a while. Maybe that’s a good sign. 

“What?!” Stiles has no idea how to respond. Derek rarely ever shows this kind of emotion toward him. Or to anyone else for that matter. It’s terrifying to both Stiles and Derek. 

“Look, Stiles. You need to get out of bed. This is unhealthy. When was the last time that you ate? I can’t smell any trace of food and you look like hell. Everyone is worried about you. The pack hasn’t seen you for days.” Derek is completely floored at his own reaction. But he is done with Stiles trying to hide how he feels- which is A LOT coming from Derek- and he is done with himself for not helping sooner. He looks down at the exhausted boy with wide eyes and lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.  
Stiles’ heart pounds against his chest. What in the world did Derek just say?

“Wha- What are you talking about? I am completely fine. Look, I’m getting up.” Stiles tries to calm himself down, knowing that Derek can clearly hear his heart, and swings his legs over the side of the bed, grazing Derek’s shins with his bare toes and stands up. “See? Completely f-.” His voice catches in his throat from the sudden lightheadedness and falls back on the bed. 

Derek’s hands are up and gripping Stiles’ right arm gently before he meets the bed.

“Stiles…” Derek sits beside him and lets out another breath. “You’re not fine. And that’s okay.” Derek’s sister used to say that to him after their family died. It used to comfort him and he thought maybe it would comfort Stiles. He lets one hand go but keeps the other on Stiles’ wrist, squeezing gently. 

“Fuck. Okay, fine Derek. I’m not fine, at all! Is that what you want to hear? I feel like shit and I don’t know why. The nogits- it’s gone and I should be getting better but I’m not! I just want it to be over. I just want to die!” Stiles is hysterical at this point and puts his head between his knees to try and stop himself from having a panic attack in front of Derek fucking Hale. He just wants to be alone. He doesn’t want to talk about it. It’s not helping him anymore. 

“Stiles…” Derek is honestly shocked. He had no idea it had gotten this bad. There is no way he is letting this broken boy out of his sight until he gets better. The only thing he can think of to do is put one hand on Stiles’ back and the other on his own face. “I’m going to help you get through this. I promise.” Derek lets out in a stern but gentle voice. Or what he hopes.


	2. Just Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles starts to get some help.

Stiles’ heart beat is back to it’s normal, erratic self after about ten minutes of Derek telling him to breathe. Stiles is honestly astounded at how Derek is still here and still has a comforting hand on his back. Or as comforting as Derek can get. It helped though. 

“Let’s go get something to eat.” Derek speaks up after a few minutes of silence and pushes himself off the bed before opening the bedroom door. “Put some clothes on. I’ll be in my car.” Derek wasn’t sure what else to say but he needed to do something. And he knew Stiles needed food in his stomach.

“I’m not hungry.” Stiles winces at how rough his voice sounds. 

“Then you can watch me eat.” Derek calls from the stairs as he continues to stroll out of the house. 

Stiles sat on his bed for a few more minutes, mentally punching himself for saying all those things to Derek. He had tried his best over the past few weeks to keep everything to himself. He didn’t want people worrying or thinking he was still losing his mind. He’s faked smiles and made excuses as to why he couldn’t hang out. Stiles knew everyone was already dealing with their own grief and he didn’t want to pile on. It would only make him feel worse. Not that he really cared how he was feeling. Lately he had been feeling really numb; which was better than crying and having panic attacks every hour like he was a week ago. He was starting to think he forgot how to feel emotions. That is until Derek. 

Stiles realized it had been more than a few minutes and almost twenty. He stood up slowly and walked to the bathroom, splashing water on his face. 

“Fuuuuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Stiles said to himself as he looked in the mirror. He was even more pale than usual, had bruises under his eyes and chapped lips. Kind of like when he was possessed. He felt his heart hammer against his ribcage and looked away from the mirror. “Calm the fuck down.” Stiles hissed at himself as he left the bathroom. 

He shoved his legs through some sort-of-clean khaki pants and replaced his wrinkly shirt with a clean, black one. He didn’t bother fixing his hair before he grabbed his phone and keys. He slowly made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Stiles made sure to leave a note for his dad so he wouldn’t worry when he got home from the station and walked to the front door. He decided to grab his red hoodie before opening it and locking it behind him. 

Derek was leaning against his Camaro, arms folded and staring at Stiles like he was about to fall over and die.

“Quit looking at me.” Stiles rubbed his hand over his face and pulled his hoodie over his head before walking to the car.

Derek had just noticed how skinny Stiles had gotten. His pants were a size or two too big on him and when he pulled his hoodie on, his shirt rose and Derek could see his hipbones jutting out. It was hard for him not to notice the rest of Stiles now. His face was thinner and he looked like he had been punched in the eyes a few times. His hands were even bonier than before and he really needed a haircut.

Stiles opened the passenger side door and slammed it shut after getting in, causing Derek to come out of his daze. He followed suit and started up the car. 

“Where are we going?” Stiles asked quietly after a few minutes of silence. He had his head laying against the window and his arms wrapped around his waist. 

“Breakfast.” Was all Derek said for the rest of the car ride. From the sound of Stiles’ heart, he was sure he dozed off a few times. So he kept quiet not wanting to disturb him. 

The second that Derek pulled into the parking lot, Stiles lifted his head and rubbed his eyes. 

“You awake?” Stiles grunted in response before unbuckling his seatbelt and attempting to open the door. Before he could even protest, Derek was opening it for him and helping him out.

“Jesus, Derek. I’m not five. I can do it myself.” Stiles huffs out before tripping over his own foot and reaching out for something to grab. It just so happens that the thing he grabs is Derek. Derek has his hands under Stiles’ elbows and Stiles’ hands are gripping Derek’s biceps. 

“Apparently you can’t.” Derek mumbled quietly to himself but not quiet enough because Stiles was glaring up at him. 

“Thanks. I got it from here.” Stiles spoke through gritted teeth and walked toward the diner they had parked in front of. 

Derek is right behind him, a hand hovering behind Stiles’ back as they take slow steps through the front doors. 

They picked a spot in the back of the not-so-populated diner and sat across from each other in a booth. They hadn’t even said a word to each other yet when a waitress came over.

“Hello. My name is Samantha. Welcome to Dean’s Diner. Do you need a minute or are you ready to order?” The freckly brunette pulled out a notepad and pencil as she spoke and smiled at Stiles and Derek. 

“We’re ready.” Derek smiled at Samantha and pulled the menu Stiles was holding out of his hands.

Stiles was about to protest when he realized Derek was actually smiling. With teeth. He realized his mouth was hanging open and snapped it shut.  
“I’m not hungry.” Stiles spoke softly, looking at the waitress. Derek frowned.

“We’ll have two waters, an order of pancakes and two plates.” Derek handed the menus to Samantha and gave her a nod.   
“Alright. I’ll bring your waters out in a moment.” 

Stiles glared at Derek until the waitress came back to deliver their waters and left again. 

“How many times do I have to say that I’m not hungry before it seeps through your thick skull?” Stiles really did not have an appetite but Derek didn’t seem to care. Derek just stared back at Stiles until he gave up and buried his face in his arms on the table. “I hate you.” Stiles groaned through his sleeves.

“You have to at least eat a little,” Derek let out a sigh and continued softly. “You’ve lost a lot of weight, Stiles. It’s not safe.” 

“I don’t care.” Stiles wasn’t ready to talk about this but he was pretty sure Derek wasn’t going to let it go.

“You should care. When was the last time you ate a full meal?” Derek automatically leaned forward, almost into Stiles’ space.

“I don’t know. Like the other day?” Stiles peaked out of his arms only to see Derek’s overly concerned face and bury his face again. He knew he wasn’t getting away with that answer. “Three weeks ago.”

“Stiles…” Derek leaned back in the booth and rubbed his hands over his face.

“Quit saying my name like that. You’re scaring the shit out of me, Derek. I hate when people do that.” Stiles lifted his head from the table, pulling his hands in his lap and digging his nails into his wrist. He can feel his anxiety rising in his chest up to his throat. 

“I’m sorry. But I’m worried and so is everyone else.” Derek can smell Stiles getting antsy. 

“I’m fine.” Stiles mumbled to his lap and dug his nails in further. 

“Stop it.” Derek reached forward and pulled both of Stiles arms up on the table and flipped them over. He pulled Stiles’ sleeves back before Stiles realized what he was doing. There were small cuts on the inside of Stiles’ left wrist. “Will you please let me help you?” 

“How did you know?” Stiles slowly pulled his hands away, shocked at how observant Derek is. 

“Because I know you. Now will you let me help you?” Derek spoke as softly as he could because he’s scared Stiles’ heart is going to burst out of his chest if it beats any harder. 

“Okay.” Stiles gives it some thought before answering or at least tries. He can’t really think straight because apparently Derek knows him well enough to suspect that Stiles would be hurting himself. “Can you please keep this between just us? I don’t want my dad knowing. Or Scott. Oh my god. Fucking Scott.” Stiles buries his head in his arms again and groans. When Stiles’ mother had died, that was the first time he had cut himself and when Scott found out, it was a mess. Scott got all puppy-dog eyes on him and babied the crap out of him even more than he already did. He could tell he was hurting Scott and he didn’t want to do it again. He already stabbed Scott and got Allison killed.

He hadn’t realized he had started crying until Derek put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

“I won’t tell anyone.” Derek pulls his hand away as the waitress comes over with their food. Stiles doesn’t lift his head until she’s gone. 

“Thanks.” Stiles wipes the tears off his cheeks with his sleeve and takes a sip of his water. 

After a minute of silence, Derek cuts a pancake in half and puts it on a plate and scoots it in front of Stiles. 

“Just try.” Derek gives Stiles a small smile before taking a bite of his portion of pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if there are any mistakes because I totally kept dozing off while checking over it... I really hope I am doing these characters justice. Any suggestions would be helpful! I'm also hoping that these chapters are about this length.   
> Thank for reading again! It means the fucking WORLD to me. :)   
> (I would really love future chapter ideas if anyone has got a good one to go along with what I have. I'll make sure to give credit. Here's a teaser for you: I'm totes going to write a scene where Derek gives Stiles a haircut. *cackles*)


	3. I Don't Need A Guard Dog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Derek have a 'game plan'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm currently writing more as you read this. I feel like there was something I wanted to say but I can't remember...

“Scott won’t stop texting me. Do you want me to tell him where we are?” Derek says as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and frowns at it. Stiles had finished his pancake after about ten minutes of pushing it around on his plate. He figured he just needed to get it over with and eat it. Kind of like ripping a bandage off or swallowing cough medicine. 

“Umm. Just Scott. I can’t handle the whole pack right now.” Stiles thought for a moment before answering and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more.  
“He said he’s on his way,” Derek put his phone on the table and continued talking. “Have you been going to school?” 

It was eleven o’clock on a Wednesday morning and Stiles wasn’t in school. He let out a long breath before speaking, knowing Derek wouldn’t like the answer. 

“I’ve been taking some time off…” 

“How long?” Derek furrowed his eyebrows.

“As of today… It’s been two weeks.” It’s been a month since everything went back to ‘normal’ and Stiles was trying to stay in school and keep his grades up but he couldn’t stay focused. He didn’t get enough sleep to stay focused and even if he did, his mind just wasn’t where it needed to be. He convinced his dad to let him take some ‘time for himself’. Whatever that meant.

“When are you going back?” Derek’s eyebrows furrowed even more. Stiles wishes he would stop doing that.

“I don’t know. I know I need to because wallowing and doing nothing with my life isn’t helping. It’s probably making it worse. But I- I just don’t have the fucking energy.” Stiles feels exhausted just speaking. 

Derek nods but doesn’t speak for a few minutes. His phone buzzes but he ignores it and takes a sip of his water.

“How about you go back Monday and I can help you catch up on school work. I know Scott’s not in most of your classes and Scott is… Well he’s Scott.” Derek never did mind high school- he even went to college for a year and a half before he came back to Beacon Hills- so he wouldn’t mind helping Stiles with his homework. 

“Yeah, Scott is-,” Stiles lifted his gaze to the front door and gave a soft smile. “Speak of the wolf.” Scott was all grins and puppy-dog eyes as he walked over to their booth and pulled Stiles up by his arm. 

“Stiles!” Scott wrapped his long arms around Stiles and patted his back gently. Stiles stuffed his face in Scott’s shoulder and held back tears. He was truly happy to see Scott but also a little sad. He hadn’t seen him for a few days and that never happened. They were always right by each other’s side, or at least they used to be. 

“Hey, buddy.” Stiles stood there until Scott pulled back and smiled at him some more. 

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Scott’s smile dropped as he looked his best friend up and down. “How are you feeling?” He looked like he wanted to ask a million questions but decided that wouldn’t be a good idea. Stiles was happy he stuck with the one he did ask; it was the easiest to deflect.

Stiles sat back down in the booth and motioned for Scott to sit next to him. Scott nodded at Derek, who returned the nod and they both turned to look at Stiles.

“Well, I’m happy to see you. How’s Kira?” Stiles turned a little to face him as Scott beamed at Kira’s name. 

“She’s great! We’re great…” Scott’s cheeks blushed a little before being interrupted by Derek clearing his throat. “But that doesn’t matter right now because I am here to talk about you.” He added quickly in a serious tone, looking at Stiles.

Stiles took a deep breath but didn’t say anything, crossing his arms on the table. 

“We’ve decided that Stiles is going back to school on Monday and we can help out with whatever school work he needs to catch up on,” Derek spoke to Scott but kept his eyes on Stiles. “In the meantime, I think one of us needs to stay with Stiles until… He’s feeling better.” He finally looked at Scott and raised his eyebrows.

“Really? I don’t need a… a guard dog. I can take care of myself.” Stiles got a glare from Derek and a small giggle from Scott before Derek glared him down too. 

“Right now, you-,” Derek was trying to be careful with his words but got frustrated and gave up. “You can’t take of yourself. And I don’t want you to take care of yourself. Let someone else do it- just until you’re physically healthy again.”

“Physically healthy? What are you talking about?” Scott tilted his head to the side and looked at Stiles, then Derek.

“Stiles hasn’t been eating very much. He’s lost a lot of weight.” Derek spoke matter-of-factly. Stiles sighed again and laid his head on his arms. 

“Stiles…” Scott put his hand on Stiles’ shoulder and waited for him to speak.

“Oh my god. The next person who says my name like that is getting wolfsbane shoved down their throat,” He lifted his head and widened his eyes at Derek before looking back at Scott. “Scott, I’m not doing so good, alright? If you haven’t noticed, I still look like I’m- like I’m still fucking possessed,” He rose his voice, making himself flinch before rubbing a hand over his face and continuing. “I haven’t been sleeping and when I do, it’s like- my brain won’t stop reminding me of everything that I did. Sometimes I still feel like I’m possessed and when I go to sleep, I’m scared that I actually will get possessed again. That’s how it happened before… I fell asleep and…” Stiles forced himself to stop talking. He was comfortable enough to say this in front of Scott and Derek but if he kept talking, it wouldn’t end well. He could already feel his heart picking up speed and he didn’t want to have a panic attack in public. 

Scott bumped his knee against Stiles’, trying to relax him and spoke softly.

“Alright. I have a game plan,” Stiles knew that look; Scott had a really terrible idea. “One of us, or someone else from the pack, will check up on you every hour and at night, someone will stay with you and wake you up if you start having a nightmare and-,”

“This is stu-,” 

“Shut up, Stiles.” Derek breathed out.

“-And if you need time to yourself, we’ll give it to you, but you still have to report back every hour so that we know you didn’t get kidnapped by sasquatch or anything totally unbelievable but completely possible.” 

“Okay, fine!” Stiles held up his hands, surrendering. Scott grinned at him and Derek pressed his lips together and gave a small nod. 

“Also, you really need a haircut.” Scott rubbed his hand on Stiles’ head, making his hair stick up every-which-way. He let out a groan and swatted Scott’s hand away.


	4. But I Need An Anchor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles' emotions are up and down and Derek does what he can to help, even if he is exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own, so let me know if you see any. Thanks for reading. :)

Scott had to get back to school and then to the animal clinic, so he couldn’t stay with Stiles until that night, which left Derek to ‘watch after’ Stiles until then. They left the diner and Stiles was back to falling asleep in Derek’s car. Derek pulled behind Stiles’ jeep and turned off the Camaro. Stiles didn’t wake up. 

“Stiles, wake up,” Derek didn’t mean for his voice to sound so rough. Stiles jerked awake, kicking his feet into the front of his seat and hitting his head on the window. His heart rate shot up. “Sorry…” Derek put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing.

“No- no, that was my fault. I was having a nightmare.” Stiles breathed out and let his head fall back onto the headrest, closing his eyes. 

“Come on.” Derek pulled his hand away and opened his door, waiting for Stiles to do the same before getting out. 

They quietly made their way up the front steps, Derek behind Stiles. Stiles pulled out his key and tried unlocking the door but his hands were shaking. The key was leaving scratches on the lock. Derek gently took them from Stiles and unlocked the door, swinging it open and handing the keys back.

“Thanks,” Stiles murmured as he took a step into the house. “I need to take a shower, so…” He trailed off hoping Derek knew what he meant. 

“I’ll wait in your room.” Derek sort of knew what he meant. Stiles opened his mouth to tell him to stay down in the family room or kitchen but stopped. He nodded and started up the stairs. He couldn’t hear Derek behind him but he knew he was there, mostly because of the heat radiating off his body. Stiles was cold, he had been cold since the nogitsune and he kind of wanted to get closer to the wolf’s warmth. But he knew Derek wouldn’t go for that. Not in a million years.

They got to Stiles’ room and Derek sat down in his computer chair while Stiles’ grabbed different clothes. It never felt right to put the same clothes on after a shower. He hadn’t done laundry in a while so he grabbed an old pair of basketball shorts, clean boxers and a different t-shirt. 

Derek was watching Stiles rifle through a drawer, smelling waves of anxiety roll over him. 

“Stiles.” Stiles straightened his back and ran a hand over his face.

“I need a shower…” He dropped his head and walked out of the bedroom door, disappearing down the hall. 

The second that he closed the bathroom door behind him, there was a soft knock.

“Stiles? What’s wrong?” Derek sounded like he was about to wolf-out. 

“I don’t know…” Stiles choked on a sob and slid to the floor in front of the bathtub. 

“Can I come in?” Derek’s voice was softer this time.

Stiles couldn’t answer and even if he could, he wouldn’t know what the answer would be. He curled into a ball, burying his face into his hands and kept sobbing. He barely heard the click of the door opening when he saw Derek looking down at him with his head tilted to the side.

Derek lowered himself onto the floor in front of Stiles on one knee. He reached his hand out and placed it on Stiles’ exposed wrist making Stiles shiver.

“Stand up,” Derek didn’t wait for him to respond. He grabbed his bony arms and pulled him to his feet as gently as he could. Stiles started to protest but stopped when Derek pulled him in and wrapped his warm arms around Stiles’ small body. “You’re freezing.”

Stiles cried into Derek’s collarbone and wrapped his arms around his waist, instantly feeling better. 

“I’m so pathetic.” Stiles’ breathing had slowed down but he was still crying.

“No, you’re not.” Derek held onto him tighter.

“Yes, I-,” 

“Stop saying that. You’re just making yourself feel worse,” Derek put his hand on Stiles’ neck. “Take a shower. You’ll feel better.” Derek started to pull back slowly, keeping his hand where it was. 

“Okay.” Stiles barely squeaked out. He let go of Derek and wiped the tears from his cheeks. Derek squeezed the back of Stiles’ neck and let his hand drop to his side, turning to leave. He turned back around, giving him a soft smile and closed the door behind him.

Stiles stood in the middle of the bathroom for a few minutes, sniffing and staring at the floor. He could feel the warmth from Derek fading away as he starting getting cold again. He pushed off his hoodie and started the shower, setting it to the right temperature. He peeled off the rest of his clothes and stepped into the warm shower. 

Stiles wasn’t sure what just happened but he knew that Derek had calmed him down more quickly than most people have done. Who knew he felt that comfortable around Derek Hale? He didn’t even think anyone was comfortable around Derek. It’s not like Derek would hurt anyone innocent but he wasn’t the most relaxed guy or even the most polite. He grunted and glared a lot, judging from a far.

Derek Hale was different and so was Stiles. Maybe that’s why they’ve grown closer. Stiles knew Derek well enough to know that what Derek just did, he doesn’t do for just anyone. Derek has a rough personality but when it comes to comforting the people around him, he’s as gentle as a newborn kitten. That’s what Stiles liked about him. Stiles liked Derek a lot. Probably more than he should. And it doesn’t help that Derek is so understanding and nice with Stiles. It really doesn’t help at all.

After ten minutes of standing under the running water, Stiles decided it would be best to actually clean himself. He finished washing his overgrown hair and under-grown body and then turned off the water, drying off with a clean towel and getting dressed. He tried to not look at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth and pulled at his clothes that were too big on him. Stiles rubbed the towel over his head, drying his hair a little before hanging it on a rack and opening the bathroom door.

Stiles took the few steps to his room and found Derek lying back on his bed, bare feet hanging off. He looked like he had sat and just fell the rest of the way down.

“You alright?” Stiles sat next to Derek and spoke, turning his head to watch Derek’s face. He grunted at Stiles before pulling himself up. 

“Tired.” He rubbed his eyes and slouched.

“Take a nap. I’m not going anywhere.” Stiles patted Derek’s knee and stood up, walking to his desk chair and sitting down.

“I’m not taking a nap in your bed, Stiles.” Derek yawned as he spoke, making the corners of Stiles’ mouth twitch.

“You’re so stubborn,” Stiles stood up and waved his arm, motioning for Derek to stand, too. “Let’s go watch a movie and you can try not falling asleep during that.” Derek made a face like he was going to object but Stiles was already down the stairs. Derek reluctantly followed him.

They were twenty minutes into ‘Creature from the Black Lagoon’ when Derek fell asleep, his head resting on the back of the couch. Stiles could hear him softly snoring as he turned the volume down on the movie. He didn’t want to wake him, mostly because he thought werewolves didn’t get as much sleep as humans, something having to do with heightened senses and whatever. 

Stiles turned his attention back to the movie but felt himself not being able to keep his eyes open. He wanted to sleep, he needed to sleep, but he wasn’t sure if he was up for what came along with it. He was comfortable. He was comfortable next to Derek. Maybe that was the reason he should go to sleep. Derek was becoming Stiles’ anchor whether either one of them liked it or not. Well, Stiles liked it but he wasn’t sure about Derek. Stiles knew he could be his own anchor, like Scott was, but Stiles wanted someone to be his anchor. Stiles wanted support. He couldn’t trust himself with that. He would fall apart even more than he already was. 

Stiles grabbed the pillow from behind his head and leaned it against Derek’s thigh and rearranged himself so he was laying his head on it, his knees curled up to his chest. Stiles was sure he felt Derek wake up but he didn’t say anything, so Stiles fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling really self-conscious about this chapter, so comments and kudos would make my day. (I know I've been all over the place with POVs, so next chapter will be from just Derek's. Hopefully. I think, yeah...)
> 
> Also, if you guys want me to add a chapter on a certain day(s) of the week, like a schedule, I can. I think I might because I feel like I'm just spewing out stuff left and right and I think I need to leave things sit before I post them. I'll figure it out later. Buttttttt, I really do like writing this, so updates will be fast (knock on wood). :)


	5. Der Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleep is good for the soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm such an asshole. I said I would post stuff fast and it's been like two weeks. I'm so ashamed. To make it up to anyone still reading, the next chapter is the haircut chapter. And maybe, possibly some... Truth Or Dare.

The sound of Stiles’ heart woke Derek up. It fluttered in Stiles’ chest as he laid his head on a pillow that was against Derek’s thigh. He watched Stiles for a few minutes, listening to him fall asleep. Derek lifted his hand and rested it on Stiles’ head, running his fingers through his hair. Scott was right; Stiles really needed a haircut. Derek was sure if it were up to Stiles, he would never get a haircut. Maybe Derek could cut his hair for him. He used to cut his siblings hair; he cut Cora’s hair for her the last time she was in Beacon Hills, which was too long ago.

Derek missed Cora. They grew so close when he found out she was alive. And now she’s thousands of miles away, safely hidden. It made Derek worry though, when he wasn’t around to protect her, even though she can clearly protect herself. Lately, Derek hadn’t been able to sleep. Everything made him worry. He was constantly on his toes, waiting for something to go wrong. And something did. Stiles wasn’t getting better and it worried Derek more than he thought it would. 

Derek knew for a while that something was off with Stiles. He could smell it on him and he hated himself for taking so long to do something about it. Derek had stayed up for countless nights, thinking about what he should do or say. He didn’t want to scare Stiles or make him worse. He already thought Stiles was scared of him, but from the way Stiles had been acting, even smelling, that wasn’t the case anymore. That made Derek worry a little less. 

 

 

“Tell him he can text or call if he needs anything.” Derek had his hand on the door knob as he spoke softly to Scott who had taken his place on the couch next to Stiles. 

“Yeah, no problem.” Scott whispered as he rubbed a hand gently on Stiles’ back. Derek nodded toward Scott as he walked out the front door. He had just made it to his car when the front door to the house opened again. He looked up to see Scott staring at him like a lost puppy.

“Yes, Scott?” Derek watched Scott rub the back of his neck.

“You can stay, if you want. Stiles wouldn’t mind. Actually, he would probably want you to stay.” Scott mumbled the last bit to himself.

“Yeah, okay.” Derek sighed and walked back toward the house, following the young alpha inside. Derek was too tired to drive himself home. And he knew if he did make it home, he wouldn’t be able to sleep without knowing Stiles was safe. Yes, Scott could protect him just fine but Derek felt safer knowing it was him protecting Stiles. Even if he was just protecting Stiles from Stiles. 

“If you carry him upstairs to his bed,” Scott gestured toward Stiles, who was now sprawled out on the couch, drooling. “I’ll get sheets for the couch.” Scott disappeared down the hallway before Derek could protest.

Derek hesitated a moment before sliding one arm under Stiles’ back and the other under his knees, gently picking him up. He frowned down at the sleeping human; he was so light. Derek didn’t struggle at all as he made his way up the stairs and to Stiles’ bedroom. Just before Derek was about to lay Stiles down on the bed, he wrapped his arms around Derek’s neck, pulling him close. 

“Stiles… Let go.” Derek breathed against Stiles’ neck.

“Okay...” Stiles smacked his lips together, eyes still closed, and slowly slid his arms from Derek’s neck. Derek laid Stiles down and pulled the covers over him as he curled into a ball. 

“Goodnight, Stiles.” Derek turns to leave.

“’Night, Der.” Stiles whispers almost inaudibly, but Derek catches it and lets a smile spread across his face. He makes his way down the stairs to see Scott putting a pile of sheets on the couch.

“Here are some sheets. You should get some sleep. You look almost as tired as Stiles.” Scott presses his lips together and gives a soft pat on Derek’s shoulder before making his way toward the stairs. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Derek deadpans. 

“The Sheriff will probably be home around midnight but he usually comes in through the garage. So, don’t kill him.”Scott grins before taking the steps two at a time.  
Derek lets out a sigh and falls on the couch looking at his phone. It’s only eight o’clock. How in the world is he so exhausted? He can only guess it’s because of all the worrying and stress. At least he knows why and is doing something about it now. Hopefully he can sleep better tonight.

Derek slips off his shoes and jeans before spreading out the sheets on the couch and drifting off to a heavy sleep. 

 

 

“Der Bear, wakey wakey…,” Stiles was softly nudging Derek’s foot, that hung off the side of the couch, with his own foot. 

Derek groaned but didn’t move or show any other sign of consciousness. 

“You’re a really heavy sleeper, dude.” Stiles perches himself on the edge of the coffee table in front of the couch and pokes Derek’s shoulder.

“That’s because I’m tired. Leave me alone.” Derek turned his head toward Stiles, opening one eye and closing it. Stiles was staring at the spot where he poked Derek and held his breath. He tapped his fingers against his knee as he spoke. 

“Hey, um…,” Derek opened both of his eyes and looked at Stiles. “Thanks… Thanks for helping me. And staying last night. Even though I didn’t know you stayed, I didn’t have any nightmares.” Stiles looked at Derek and smiled. Derek sat up on the couch facing Stiles, their knees almost touching, and smiled back.

“Of course… And if you don’t call me that again, I won’t have to rip out your thr-.”

“Yeah, yeah. With your teeth, whatever.” Stiles bumped Derek’s knee with his own and stood up. “…Der Bear!” Stiles took off for the kitchen before Derek could catch him. 

They stumbled into the kitchen to find Scott and The Sheriff finishing up their breakfast and talking in hushed voices. They grew quiet when they saw Stiles. 

Stiles didn’t want to know what they were talking about, even though he knew it was about him, so he shrugged and sat down at the small kitchen table. He motioned for Derek to sit next to him as he poured orange juice in a small glass. Derek followed suit and then set a plate in front of Stiles and himself, filling food on his own and putting eggs and a piece of bacon on Stiles’.

“Alright, I’m off to work. Behave yourself, boys.” The Sheriff stands up from his seat and rinses his plate off in the sink. “Stiles, I want to talk to you when I get home.” He gave his son a serious look before putting on his coat. Stiles nodded in response, pushing his food around on his plate.

“I’ve got to get going, too.” Scott shoved bacon in his mouth before talking again. “Hee ooh guys ater.” He bounded behind Stiles’ dad before anyone could ask what he said.

“So, how did you sleep last night? I know you’ve been tired and sleeping on the couch probably didn’t help.” Stiles spoke after finishing his food. He watched as Derek put seconds on his own plate.

“Actually, I slept really well.” Derek chewed thoughtfully on a piece of bacon and gave a small smile in Stiles’ direction.

“Really? Maybe you should spend the night more often.” Derek thought he heard Stiles’ heart skip a beat but pretended like he didn’t notice and smiled at him again.

“Speaking of, I need to stop by my loft and get clean clothes. You want to come?” Derek stood up from his chair and put his and Stiles’ plate in the sink.

“Yeah, sure. Let me get dressed.” Stiles started toward the stairs but stopped suddenly. “Hey, Der, can we just hang out at your place?” Stiles was feeling cooped up and he thought he was going to start climbing the walls if he didn’t get out soon. A change of scenery would be nice. 

“Mhmm, we can do anything you want.” Derek patted Stiles’ shoulder before walking to the living room and putting his pants on. Stiles followed behind him.

“Anything?” Stiles grinned at Derek. 

“Only if you let me give you a haircut.” Derek grinned back at Stiles and watched as Stiles’ face fell.

“…Deal… But, no buzz cut.” Stiles thought it over for a moment before answering. He guesses he trusts Derek enough not to cut all his hair off… Or an ear. 

"Deal." Derek nodded and watched Stiles walk up the stairs as he folded the sheets on the couch. Derek thought Stiles was just going to make him watch another movie or maybe play video games but Stiles had a few other things in mind.


	6. Tip Him Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good day for Stiles AND Derek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured since I took so long to post another chapter, that I would make this one longer and with a few surprises. I hope you guys enjoy. :)
> 
> (Also, sorry for any mistakes. I sorta skimmed it when I proof-read it.)

“The only way we are ever going to do that is if I can cut your hair however I want to.” Derek widened his eyes at Stiles.

“Yes! Let’s do this!” Stiles jabs a finger into Derek’s chest and sits on the chair in front of the bathroom sink in Derek’s loft.

“Fine.” Derek huffs out, pushing Stiles’ head back against the sink. “I have to wash your hair first.” Derek turns on the water and grabs the shampoo from the shower, letting the water warm up.

“Hey, will you massage my head?” Stiles grins up at Derek.

“No.” Derek playfully dis his human nails into Stiles’ head.

“Rude.” Stiles closes his eyes and lets Derek wash his hair. Derek fucking Hale is washing Stiles’ hair. He never thought he would ever say that, let alone say it felt good. Derek was being really gentle and if Stiles didn’t know any better, he would say is was soothing.

Derek is massaging Stiles’ head. Derek is definitely massaging his head. Stiles holds back a bubble of laughter rising in his chest. Derek is such a puppy.

“Ahh… That feels so good.” Stiles softly moans and stamps his foot up and down like a dog would do if someone was scratching behind it’s ear.

“You’re an idiot.” Derek smirks as he turns back on the water. “Now, hold still so I can wash this out.”

Stiles did as he was told, or at least tried. He fidgeted for the next twenty minutes as Derek cut his hair.

“Wow. You’re actually really good at this. I love it.” Stiles was admiring his new haircut in the mirror as he tried not messing it up. It was almost a buzz-cut on the sides but still a little long on the top. Just the way he likes it.

“Thanks… I used to cut Cora’s hair.” Derek looks down at his feet.

“Ha, she actually let you do that?” Stiles turns toward Derek and rests his hand on the sink.

“Yeah…,” Derek looks up at Stiles and smiles. “You look a lot better. We should have done this a while ago.” Derek rubs his hand through Stiles’ hair, messing it up.

“Hey!” Stiles whacks his hand out of the way and shoves his own hand through Derek’s hair. Derek playfully growls at him but doesn’t do anything to stop his hand. “Alright,” Stiles chuckles, “A deal is a deal. Let’s go buddy.” He pushes past Derek with a smirk on his face and makes his way back downstairs.

“I’m going to take a quick shower first. I’ll be down in a minute.” Derek raises his voice so Stiles can hear him.

“You’re so lame.” Stiles groans to himself knowing Derek can hear him perfectly clear.

Stiles makes his way to Derek’s bed and sits at the end. He checks his phone to find nothing different except for the time. He puts it back in his pocket and leans forward, putting his face in his pale hands. Stiles lets out a long breath as he lies back on the bed. He feels oddly comfortable in Derek’s loft. Comfortable enough to fall asleep in his bed. So that’s what he does. Stiles scoots himself to the middle of the bed and curls around himself, almost immediately falling asleep. 

Not anymore than ten minutes later, Stiles feels a weight on the left side of the bed. He rolls himself over to see a clean Derek looking at him.

“You can go back to sleep if you want.” Derek looks down at him with his soft, green eyes. His hair is still damp and he smells like mint and trees.

“Aw, hell no. We are doing this.” Stiles shoots himself up and crosses his legs facing Derek, who is resting his back on the headboard and legs straight out in front of him. Derek lets out a sigh and crosses his arms.

“You first.” Derek sighs again.

“Truth or dare?” Stiles grins at Derek and waits for an answer.

“Truth.” Derek lets out after a few beats.

“I’ll start out easy,” Stiles taps his fingers in his chin, pretending to think. “What’s your middle name?”

“I don’t have a middle name.” 

“That’s no fun.” Stiles pouts.

“Do you have a middle name?” Derek raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, it’s Josiah.” Stiles says as if it’s obvious.

“Stiles Josiah Stilinski?” Derek raises his eyebrow higher.

“Well, Stiles isn’t actually my real name.” 

“And what is your real na-.” 

“Hey, we are getting off track!” Stiles cuts Derek off.

“Fine. Truth or Dare?” Derek still can’t believe he is playing Truth or Dare. He’s really going to regret this, especially since he’s playing with Stiles.

“Truth…” Stiles draws out.

“What do you want to be when you get older?” Derek is really god-awful at this game. Stiles gives him a disappointed look before answering.

“I want to do what my dad does. And since I know some about all this supernatural bullshit, it might make it easier. Maybe I could even be Sheriff one day.” Stiles smiles at the thought.

“That’s terrifying.” Derek chuckles.

“Ha. Ha. Truth or dare?” Stiles glares at Derek.

“Truth.”

“What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time? And don’t say ‘howl at the moon’. Unless that’s true… Then that would be awesome…” Stiles rambles.

“I like to read.” Derek interrupts Stiles and gives him an honest look. 

“Aw, that’s adorable. You’re such a dork.” Stiles coos at Derek.

“Shut up, Stiles. Truth or dare?” Derek rubs his hand across his face, hiding his smile.

“Dare, motherfucker.” Stiles smirks and without hesitation, Derek replies.

“I dare you to order a pizza and then ask for the pizza deliverer’s number.” Derek smirks back and Stiles’ face drops.

“Damn, Der…” Stiles gapes as he pulls out his phone and speed-dials his favorite pizza joint.

“You have them on speed-dial. Of course you do…” Derek isn’t even surprised. Stiles orders a veggie pizza and as he hangs up the phone he grins at Derek.

“Truth or dare?” Stiles has a great dare if Derek picks it.

“I should probably pick truth but fuck it. I pick dare.” Derek cringes when Stiles busts out laughing.

“I dare you to kiss the pizza deliverer, on the mouth, when he or she gets here!” Stiles can barely speak through his giggle fit.

“Figures.” Derek watches as Stiles rolls on his side laughing. He almost doesn’t care about the dare, he’s just happy that Stiles is getting better. He’s even looking better but maybe that’s just Derek wanting him to recover so badly. Stiles finally controls himself and rolls onto his stomach next to Derek. 

“This is going to be great. I hope it’s Danny.” 

“You hope what’s Da-…,” Stiles watches Derek’s expression turn from confusion to realization and little bit of surprise. “You knew that Danny Mahealani works at the pizza place.” Stiles nods and smiles up at him.

“Yep, and I also knew that he wasn’t going to be at school today because of a doctor’s appointment. And he said that he was going to go into work after instead of back to school.”

“Wow. I always underestimate you,” Derek isn’t even mad. He is shocked at how quickly Stiles put all of that together. “I’m never playing this game, or any other game, with you ever again.” Derek lets out a small laugh.

“Haaa, you like it, don’t lie.” Stiles pokes Derek in the thigh, smiling and watches Derek laugh again. 

“You would make a great detective. Forget Sheriff. Go for the FBI.” Derek surprises himself and Stiles with his spurt of honesty. 

“Really? You think so?” Stiles looks up at Derek with wide eyes.

“Yeah, definitely.” Derek voice is soft when he looks down at Stiles and smiles. He never thought he would be this happy being close to someone. Being close to people always got Derek hurt and it scared him. He would never admit it but it scared him a lot. Stiles doesn’t scare him, though. He can trust Stiles. Everyone can trust Stiles but Stiles doesn’t trust people so easily. God knows it took him forever to trust Derek. Stiles tried to get him killed a few times when they first met but he’s past that. Way past that. Derek likes this relationship between him and Stiles. It’s honest and… Gentle. 

A bang at the loft door brought them both out of thought, making Stiles jump.

“Shit, that’s the pizza,” Stiles rolls off the bed and puts his hand out to Derek. “Money, please.” Stiles grins and makes grabby hands at Derek. 

“Here’s my wallet.” Derek picks his wallet off the bedside table and hands it to Stiles as he stands up. 

They both walk to the loft door and when Stiles opens it to reveal Danny Mahealani, he all but squeals in excitement. 

“Oh, look at who it is, Der,” Stiles can’t stop grinning as he pulls out twenty bucks from Derek’s wallet. “Hey, Danny! How are you?”

“Hey, Stiles. What are you doing here?” Danny hands the pizza to Stiles as he gawks at Derek and takes the money. 

“Just hanging out with Derek…,” Stiles shoves the pizza at Derek and turns back around to Danny. “So, Danny… Can I get your number?” Stiles is beaming because of how easy this is.

“Uh, you already have my number…” Danny is looking between both Stiles and Derek, obviously trying to figure out what’s going on. Poor Danny. 

“You’re right, I do,” Stiles laughs and turns around, slapping the wallet into Derek’s hand. “Tip him good, Der.” Stiles winks at Derek, taking the pizza and moving a few steps back.

“I hate you.” Derek grumbles before taking a few steps toward Danny. He pulls five dollars out of his wallet and hands it to Danny, smiling. He can hear Danny’s heart beat pick up and takes that as a sign. He reaches up to stroke his hand across Danny’s bicep and leans in. Danny doesn’t move away, so he leans in closer, feeling his hot breath. Derek moves his hand to settle it on the back of Danny’s neck and closes the distance between them.

Derek hears Stiles slap a hand over his own mouth as their lips meet. Danny immediately pulls away and looks into Derek’s eyes before kissing him back. Danny has always thought Derek was hot and here was his chance. Who the fuck knows why it’s here and now but he’s going for it. 

If Stiles didn’t think this was the greatest dare ever, he would be a little turned on right now. Derek and Danny are literally making out right in front of him. He is pretty sure there is even some tongue involved and it kind of looks like Derek is enjoying it. Okay, maybe Stiles is a little turned on right now. Who can blame him?  
Stiles clears his throat after a good thirty seconds, feeling his face turn a bit red. Derek and Danny pull away from each other and glance back at Stiles.

“Damn, that’s the best tip I’ve ever gotten.” Danny takes a step back, slightly flustered and makes his way out of the building.

Derek closes the loft door and walks past Stiles, grabbing the pizza without looking at him and trying to hide a smile creeping on his face.

“That may have been the greatest dare in the history of dares.” Stiles follows Derek into the kitchen and leans his forearms onto the counter, watching Derek get two plates out of the cabinet.

“Maybe for you, pervert,” Derek huffs out, setting a plate in front of Stiles. “You better eat some of this.” 

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t like it. Danny is a great kisser.” Stiles says as he sits on a bar stool.

“You’ve kissed Danny before?” Derek sits at a bar stool, opposite of Stiles and opens the pizza box.

“Yeah, but just once, just to see.” After the whole kanima incident, Stiles had been wondering a few things, so he asked Danny for advice. Danny gave him advice and then proceeded to give him more advice by kissing him. That was probably the best advice Stiles had ever gotten because it turns out his suspicions were right that he likes both girls and boys. He hasn’t really shared this information with anyone but he’s pretty sure Scott already knows. And probably his dad. 

“Mhmm,” Derek shakes his head, not even surprised and slaps a piece of pizza on Stiles’ plate. “Eat.” Derek hides a smile by taking a bit of the pizza. 

“Yes, Der Bear.” Stiles says after he shoves half of the piece of pizza into his mouth.


	7. We'll Be Okay (I Promise)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling are somewhat laid out on the table. They're working on it.

“My dad texted me. He wants me to go down to the station… _To talk_.” Stiles says after pausing the video game him and Derek started an hour ago.

“I thought he was going to talk to you when he got home.” Derek sets down the game controller next to him and turns his body on the couch to face Stiles.

“He’s working late again.” Stiles frowns down at his phone.

“I can give you a ride,” Derek pushes himself off the couch as he shuts down the gaming system. Stiles doesn’t move. “It’s just your dad.” Derek reassures.

“Exactly.” Stiles mutters.

“What do you mean?” Derek sits back down next to Stiles. Stiles sighs before speaking.

“To put it simply; Scott got his puppy dog eyes from my dad,” Derek responds with a snort. “I’m serious, Derek. Between the two of them, they would have stopped World War II.”

“Yeah, probably,” Derek chuckles then pats Stiles’ knee. “Come on. Let’s get it over with. We’ll get ice-cream with everyone after.” Derek stands again and heads toward the door with Stiles in tow.

 

 

 

“Stiles, I want you to see a doctor.” Stiles’ dad is sitting behind his intimidating, wooden desk facing his son who is fidgeting in the chair in front of him.

“Dad, I’m-,” The Sheriff holds up hand to stop Stiles.

“Melissa agreed to look you over tomorrow morning. There is something going on and we need to figure it out.” The Sheriff gives Stiles his famous 'no bullshit' look and waits for a reply. Stiles takes a deep breath.

“I already know what’s wrong.” Stiles bites at his nails as he watches his dad raise an eyebrow.

“Go on.” The Sheriff leans back in his chair and waits.

“Uh, well, I’ve been… Having trouble getting past the whole…” Stiles looks up at his dad.

“Nogitsune thing?” Stiles breathes out, nodding, relieved his dad finished his sentence for him. “I figured.” The Sheriff softens his eyes.

“And I’ve been having nightmares and not sleeping and I’ve lost a lot of weight, according to Derek.” Stiles blurts out, rubbing his hand over his face.

“You have, son. You’re unhealthy and it’s scaring me,” The Sheriff moves to a chair next to his son. “Has Derek been helping? Is that why he stayed over?”

“Yeah and he mostly stayed because he’s been exhausted too.” Stiles frowned. Is he making Derek exhausted?

“Oh, no. I know that look. Stiles, stop blaming yourself.” The Sheriff puts his hand on Stiles’ shoulder. Stiles runs his hand over his face again, this time, wiping away tears.

“I’ll let Melissa look me over but I wish you would stop worrying. You’re worrying about nothing…”

“Stiles, you’re not nothing. We’re worrying because we care about you. We don’t want to see you hurt,” Stiles’ dad pulls him into a tight hug. He presses his face into his dad’s shoulder, tearing up.

“You’re going to be alright. I promise.” The Sheriff rubs his son’s back as he cries.

 

 

 

Derek waits patiently in front of the police station, trying to not invade Stiles and his dad’s privacy by listening in. It gives him some time to think. Mostly about Stiles. Derek is starting to think they’re becoming each other’s anchors’. And he knows Stiles is thinking the same thing. Maybe more than anchors but he’s going to keep that part to himself for a while. Oddly enough, Derek is okay with all of it. He probably wouldn’t have been a year ago but Stiles is what Derek looks for in a partner. A mate. He’s smart, brave, a hero, sweet and Derek had no idea how Stiles hasn’t realized this about himself yet.

“What are you grinning about?” Derek turns around to see Stiles wiping his red, tired eyes.

“You,” Derek puts his arm around Stiles’ shoulders, listening to his jumpy heart and walks them to the car. “Everything alright?” Stiles wraps his arm around Derek’s waist and looks up at him.

“It is now.” Stiles lets a smile slip.

“You still want to meet everyone for ice-cream?” Derek asks.

“Yeah.” Stiles nods.

 

 

 

“And you’re up for that?” Derek and Stiles continue their conversation at an empty table outside of an old Dairy Queen as they wait for the pack.

“Yeah, I mean, I knew my dad noticed what was going on. He is the Sheriff for a reason and he’s not just going to trust that I’m working on it. Especially since I’ve lied to him so much in the past…” Stiles lets out a sigh and pulls his sleeves over his hands.

Derek reaches for Stiles’ hands and pulls them out of his sleeves. He holds on as he speaks.

“Stiles, it will be okay. I promise. We’re going to get through this.” Derek smiles softly, pulling his hands away.

“We?” Stiles asks confused. Since when are him and Derek a we?

“Yeah. I think… We’ve become each other’s anchors.” Derek holds his breath listening to Stiles’ heart. It skips a beat and then picks up speed. Derek can smell… Relief.

“I’m _your_ anchor?” Stiles was relieved to hear Derek say it first but now he’s just confused. He knew Derek was his anchor but he had no idea (or even though it was possible) he could be Derek’s anchor.

“Yes. Since everything that’s happened, I’ve had some stuff to work through. Finding you and you getting rid of the Nogitsune, it’s oddly helped me in a way. I found something to focus on; someone to care about. An anchor.”

“Well, damn. I’m a terrible anchor…”

“No, you’re the perfect anchor, at least for me,” Derek laughs at that. “Seriously, Stiles. I’m happy that we’re each other’s anchors. Are you alright with that?” Derek furrows his brow and it's turn Stiles to laugh.

“Yes, Derek. I know you know I’m alright with that. You wouldn’t have said it if you weren’t sure. You’re not much of a feelings person.” Stiles smiles at Derek and Derek returns the gesture.

"Yeah, well, that's on my list of things to work through." Derek softly kicks Stiles under the table and get's a rougher kick back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWWOWOWOWOWOW. I SUCK MAJOR BALLS. Holy crap, guys, I am so sorry. Probably like, no one is even still reading this but if you still are, I literally owe you more than 1,026 words. I done fucked up. And I am so sorry. Next chapter will be worth the wait. Seriously. This chapter sucks ass but the neXT ONE. HOHOHOOOO, JUST YOU WAIT.


	8. Pack Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack meets for ice cream and it gets a little emotional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH. I've literally taken forever to update this. I'm a shithead and I apologize.
> 
> BUT I've already planned out like five more chapters, so expect more very soon. (The next chapter has more pack feels, or at least as much as I can handle.)
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Please feel free to comment opinions and/or criticism. I'm selfishly using Sterek as a way to write better. 
> 
> If you're reading this, thanks for sticking around. :))

Derek had moved to sit next to Stiles when the rest of the pack showed up to Dairy Queen. Scott and Kira were first to arrive and they sat across from Derek and Stiles, practically on top of each other. They all greeted each other with smiles and hugs that were almost too tight. Lydia arrived shortly after, Isaac in tow, and sat next to Stiles, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Isaac sat next to Scott who kisses Isaac on the cheek, mocking Lydia. Lydia then kicks Scott in the shin.

As they stood in line, ordering ice cream, they all goofed off like fourteen year olds in a mall without supervision. Stiles was trying to keep up with everyone, he was trying so hard but everyone could tell something was off. Derek slid his arm around Stiles waist and leaned over to whisper in his ear.

“Breathe, Stiles.” Stiles hadn’t realized he had stopped breathing until Derek spoke. He shrunk into Derek’s side, gaining back warmth he had suddenly lost. 

“Thanks.” Stiles murmurs softly toward Derek, getting a smile in reply. 

“What’ll it be?” Stiles turned his attention to the young girl at the ordering window who was smiling up at him.

“Two small peanut butter chocolate waffle cones, please.” Derek responds to the woman before Stiles can even think about what he wants. Stiles raises an eyebrow up at Derek.

“How did you know I liked peanut butter and chocolate?” Stiles takes a small step back, honestly surprised at the wolf. 

“Because one time I watched you eat seventeen Reese’s cups in ten minutes.” Derek speaks as he exchanges the ice cream cones with a five dollar bill and smiles at the woman.

“Right…” Stiles draws, reaching for his cone, still staring at Derek.

Everyone sits down at the table, eating their ice cream and enjoying each other’s company until Isaac speaks up, his eyes brimming with tears.

“I miss Allison.” Isaac puts down his ice cream and wipes his eyes with his sleeve. Everyone stares for a few seconds, a little thrown off, until Stiles pushes up from his seat, walks around the table and wraps his arms around Isaac, rubbing his back. 

“It’s okay, bud. We all do.” Stiles may not have been a big fan of Isaac before, but he knows how he’s feeling now. Tears run down his own cheeks but he doesn’t bother wiping them away as he lets go of Isaac. He moves back to his own seat as he speaks, watching Scott rub Isaac’s back.

“Do you guys want to watch a movie tonight?” Stiles looks at Derek who is smiling fondly down at him.

“Yeah, we can have a movie night at my place.” Derek speaks to everyone as he keeps his eyes on Stiles. 

“Only if I get to pick the movie.” Lydia smirks as she squeezes Isaac’s hand across the table. 

“Uh, oh.” Isaac lets out a bubble of laughter when he realizes what Lydia wants to watch. 

The pack decides to meet back at Derek’s around seven with the promise of food and a place to crash if they need it. Derek and Stiles are the first to head out though. Derek could tell Stiles was getting antsy and figured it was probably best to take a break for a few hours. On the ride back to the loft, all Derek can think about was the way Stiles reacted to Isaac. Derek heard Stiles’ heart skip a beat and then it was back to its’ normal erratic self as he was comforting the young wolf. Derek had never seen such a small act made such a huge statement. He knew Stiles was hurting but he pushed his own feelings aside and protected one of the pack. 

As Derek was thinking about this, he could feel heat rise in his cheeks.

“What are you blushing about, big guy?” Stiles startled Derek when he spoke.

“I thought you were asleep.” Derek tries terribly to change the subject.

“Well, you fidgeting in your seat woke me up. What’s got you thinking so hard, Der?” Derek can see Stiles smirking out of the corner of his eye. He stares at the road for a moment while he considers his response. He decides to try and change the subject again.

“I was thinking about what we are going to feed everybody. What do you think they will want to eat?” Derek furrows his brow as he watches rain start to fall on the windshield. Stiles follows Derek’s eyes and sees the drops of water.

“You don’t like rain?” Stiles raises an eyebrow.

“It’s going to storm.” Derek turns the steering wheel into a local grocery store that is a block from the loft.

“Is that like a wolf thing?” Stiles was only half serious as he spoke, watching Derek put the car into park and opening the car door. Before he can say anything else, Derek is out of the car and opening up Stiles door.

“Yes.” Derek watches Stiles slowly rise out of the car and adjust his hoodie.

“Really? I was kind of kidding. That’s cool, though,” Stiles starts to walk away from the car and into the middle of the parking lot when Derek abruptly pulls him backward by the hand. “Dude-.” Stiles starts to protest until he sees a car fly past them. 

“Please watch where you’re going, Stiles.” Derek’s eyebrows are pushed together and he’s looks like he just watched a puppy die. 

“Woah, Derek, I’m fine. Calm down, buddy,” Stiles squeezes the hand Derek still had a hold of. “Come on. Let’s go get some snacks.” He starts to let go of his hand but Derek holds on as they walk into the store together. 

“You’re going to give me a heart attack.” Derek murmurs just loud enough for Stiles to here.

“I get that a lot,” Stiles comments before walking over to the shopping carts, picks one he thinks won’t annoyingly squeak throughout the whole store and wheels is back toward Derek. “Here, you push.” Stiles places Derek’s hands on the handle bar to hold the cart still and proceeds to climb into it. Once he’s sitting comfortably, he looks up at Derek who is trying and failing to hide a smile.

“You’re the biggest dork.” Derek continues to smile down at his anchor and pushes the cart through the store, picking out whatever Stiles wants.


	9. More Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles was doing great. Was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter is emotional and I honestly wasn't even going for that. At least not yet. I just had a better idea and the idea I had before, will be used in a later chapter though (meaning, the movie Lydia wants to watch, will happen).  
> I probably should warm you guys of triggers. *SPOILER* Stiles kinda hurts himself. And he will again, even worse, later. I will make a warning of it again though.   
> Thanks guys, for reading and I would love to here your opinions! (All mistakes are my own.)  
> <3

When Derek and Stiles arrive back at the loft, arms full of grocery bags, they have almost two hours to kill before everyone gets there. By unpacking the groceries and putting them in the cabinets, they only killed ten minutes.

“What do you want to do?” Derek offers as he plops himself down on the couch next to Stiles, resting his arm behind Stiles’ head. 

“Well, we never really did finish our game of Truth or Da-,” Stiles is cut off by a glare radiating off Derek’s face. “Or not. How about a card game?” Stiles huffs out.  
“I don’t have a deck of cards.” Derek frowns at the realization. 

“Video game? We can play some Smash Bros.” Stiles raises his eyebrows in Derek’s general direction.

“Sure.” Derek gets up to start the video game and hands a controller to Stiles as he sits back down.

“I’m going to whoop your ass. I have a reputation of button smashing.” Stiles smirks as he unconsciously scoops closer to Derek who doesn’t seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn’t mind.

They end up only playing a few games before Stiles starts to yawn in between beating Derek. Derek can’t help but blush as he watches Stiles’ nose scrunch up when he yawns, which is probably why he’s losing so badly. 

“Alright, I think that’s enough of you ‘whooping my ass’ for today. How about you get some rest?” Derek rests his hand on Stiles’ back only for Stiles to shiver under his touch. “Are you cold?” Derek rubs his hand up and down.

“A little. Sorry.” Stiles yawns again as he sets his game controller down. 

“Why are you apologizing?” Derek frowns as he gets up to find a blanket. He comes back with the comforter from off his bed and wraps it around Stiles and pushes him down on the couch.

“I don’t know. Habit.” Stiles obeys Derek’s silent command and let’s his eyes close. He guessed all the running around today wore him out. 

Derek sits at the other end of the couch and watches Stiles, wondering what he means by that. Derek grabs a book of the coffee table in front of him and opens it to where he left off.

“What are you reading?” Stiles cracks an eye open as he mumbles.

“I’m actually reading up on Banshees. I had to order it online. It’s called ‘The Banshee: The Irish Death Messenger’. It’s pretty boring, actually.” Derek muses at the last statement.

“Read me some of it. I need something else to focus on besides what’s running through my brain right now.” Stiles pushes himself off the couch, still wrapped up like a cocoon, and moves so his head is laying on Derek’s thigh.

“Okay,” Derek doesn’t hide the smile creeping up on his face because Stiles closes his eyes again. “Um, do you care if I just read where I left off?”

“Go ahead.” Derek can feel Stiles’ hot breath through his shirt as he speaks. He’s now completely aware of where Stiles is laying and it makes him suddenly nervous. 

“Okay…” Derek all but squeaks out and then clears his throat before you continues. “Reference has been made earlier to the legend about a man who saw or heard the death-messenger and drew the conclusion that somebody in the neighborhood would die. It soon turned out it was his own death that was foreboded. Though the man who is going to die is himself, the experience of the foreboding here the whole point of the legend is that the message was misunderstood. In this instance no message on which anybody could act-.” Derek stops when he hears a soft snore coming from the boy on his lap. He smiles down at him before putting his book down and runs his hand through Stiles’ hair. Derek honestly never would have thought Stiles would be comfortable around him. At least not until everything happened. When Stiles was possessed, Derek seemed to want to get close to him. He wanted to do what he could to fix everything. He blamed himself, of course. Blaming yourself comes along with losing someone you love. He knows Stiles blames himself for a lot of things. He could smell the guilt on Stiles the day he met him. It came along with his natural scent but now it’s all but covered the rest of Stiles.

Derek can see himself in Stiles. They’ve both lost so much and felt so much pain. He just hoped that looking out for Stiles can maybe repair something for the both of them. Derek knows he cares for Stiles more than he would like to admit. He hasn’t cared for someone this much since Cora came back into his life and then she had to leave, making Derek feel empty again. But then came Stiles. He makes Derek feel whole. That’s what anchors are supposed to do right? Or is it more than that? 

Derek frowns at the question he just asked himself. Did he have feelings for Stiles other than friendship? Derek tries to put that thought out of his head because he shouldn’t be thinking about his own feelings. He should focus on… Stiles. 

He runs his fingers through Stiles’ hair, hearing a noise of comfort come from the boy’s mouth, making Derek blush again. He lays his head back on the couch and let’s his eyes shut at the thought of Stiles. The next thing he knows he’s being woken by a banging on the loft door followed by it being slid open.

“Hello? The party is here.” It was Lydia speaking and Isaac close behind. Derek lifted his head to see the two staring at him. Actually, they were staring at him and Stiles, who now had his arms wrapped around Derek’s waist and his face pressed into his side. 

“Stiles,” Derek’s voice is scratchy when the name comes out. He looks up at Lydia and Isaac who are both smirking. He puts his hand on Stiles’ back when he speaks a little louder. “Stiles.”

This only causes Stiles to hold onto Derek even tighter.

“Just let him sleep.” Lydia starts to walk away as she laughs. 

“…Is he okay?” Isaac stopped smirking when he noticed Stiles’ grimaced face. Derek looked down at Stiles face to see his eyes moving frantically under his eyelids. Stiles dug his nails into Derek’s exposed skin on his back. 

“Shit. Stiles, wake up.” Derek started to pull at him, trying to get him to wake up. He only gripped on tighter. “Stiles!” Derek didn’t want to yell but it seemed to do the trick when he jerked back and almost fell on the floor. Derek caught him and stared down at Stiles who looked like he was trying to figure out where he was. “Hey, Stiles. It’s okay. You’re at my loft. You’re okay.”

Derek had his arms wrapped around Stiles back and pushed him into a hug to which Stiles sunk into. His face was pressed against Derek’s collarbone as he shook.

“Sorry. I’m sorry…” Stiles cried into Derek.

“Shhh, don’t apologize. You’re okay,” Derek was rubbing his back, looking at Isaac who suddenly had no idea what to do with himself. Lydia had joined his side with her hand over her mouth. “Come on. Let’s go into the bedroom.” Stiles nodded into his neck and Derek cradled him in his arms, carrying him off. 

Derek’s bedroom wasn’t really anymore private but he thought it would make Stiles feel better. Lydia and Isaac went into the kitchen on the other side of the loft, giving them privacy.

“Hey, what happened? Did you have a nightmare?” Derek laid Stiles on the bed and sat at his feet when Stiles pulled his knees to his chest. 

“I didn’t at first but then everything just..,” Stiles began to cry again and covered his face with his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m acting like an idiot.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s normal. Just breath.” Derek pulled Stiles forward into another hug and rubbed his back softly. Derek tried to soothe him as best he could until he stopped crying. 

“I think… I’m okay now,” Stiles pulled away and sat back on the bed. Derek kept his hand on Stiles knee. “Thank you…” Stiles wiped his eyes and shyly looked up at Derek, who was looking back at him with big, worried eyes.

“I’m going to get you a glass of water, okay?” Derek waited for Stiles to nod before getting up and going to the kitchen. 

Stiles felt miserable. He didn’t know what had happened. One minute he was dreaming… of Derek and the next he watched himself kill him. He didn’t want to admit it though. It was bad enough he was starting to get feelings for the older boy, he couldn’t just admit he was that upset that Derek died in his dream. That he killed him. Stiles felt a shiver run through his body as he reached for his wrist and dug his nails in.

“Hey, stop that.” Derek entered the room and noticed what Stiles was doing to himself and spoke gently, not wanting to scare him. He set the glass of water down and sat back next to Stiles.

Stiles looked down at his wrist, not fully realizing what he was doing and watched a tiny bit of blood reach the surface. 

“I’m sorry,” Stiles curled in on himself, feeling his chest tighten. “I don’t want to go back out there.” He mumbled, trying not to cry again. He just felt so miserable.

“Okay, you don’t have to. I’ll send them home.” Derek smiled, squeezing Stiles’ leg.

“No, don’t do that. I don’t… I’m just going… to lay here.” A tear escaped his eye as he closed them. 

“Stiles?” Derek honestly had no idea what do to.

“Yeah?” Stiles squeaked out.

“Tell me what you need.” Derek wanted for Stiles to stop hurting but he needed Stiles to tell him what to do. It took Stiles a minute before he spoke.

“Will you lay with me?” Derek almost didn’t hear what he said.

“Of course, Stiles,” Derek responded almost too quickly. He could smell the anxiety roll off Stiles in waves. “Give me a minute, okay?” Derek knew he had to go tell Lydia and Isaac something. Stiles nodded and Derek thought of what to tell them as he left the room.

“Hey, uh, guys?” Derek walked into the kitchen where Lydia, Isaac and now Scott and Kira were waiting. 

“What’s going on, Derek?” Scott spoke up first, pain written all over his face.

“Stiles isn’t feeling very good. He had a panic attack but is calmed down now. You guys can stay and watch the movie though and eat. He didn’t want to kick you out.” Derek kept his voice as steady as he could. He was only slightly freaking out. He thought Stiles was doing great but it seems he was wrong. 

“Can I see him?” Scott spoke up again.

“Um, I don’t know. I don’t think he wants to be around anyone.” Derek spoke to the ground.

“Yeah, Scott, you should have seen him earlier. He’s not…” Lydia trailed off as she put her hand on Scott’s shoulder. 

“Okay…” Scott practically whined.

“I guess we should probably go.” Isaac rubbed the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable.

“Yeah, we can do this when he’s up for it. I think we were all hoping to spend time with Stiles, so.” It was Kira’s turn to speak. 

“Okay, but you guys are still welcome.” Derek looked at his pack, who were all hurting for Stiles.

“If he asks, just tell him we will see him tomorrow, okay?” Lydia put her hand on Derek’s arm, trying to comfort him. Derek nodded as they all got their things and walked out of the loft, heads hanging.

Derek sucked in air before walking back into his bedroom. Stiles was still curled up, staring into space.

“Hey,” was all Derek said before he laid next to Stiles’ shivering body and wrapped his arm around the boy’s waist, trying to warm him.

“Thank you, Derek.” Stiles whispered as he pressed his body closer to the wolf.


	10. We're So Screwed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles and Derek wake up next to each other with feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been meaning to just fucking get their feelings figured out, not with each other, just about each other. So that is this short chapter. Next chapter, we will actually get somewhere. Things will be figured out and there will be feelings, good and bad. BUT I don't plan on adding any confusion between the two. As in, I don't want one thinking the other doesn't like them and is hating themselves for like a week. Nahhhh. That stuff makes me anxious.
> 
> Anyway... Hope you guys enjoy. Leave me some comments! <3
> 
> (also, trigger warnings, sorta. *SPOILER* Stiles almost cuts himself.)

Stiles is the first to wake up, not really sure where he is. Looking at the man wrapped up around him, he feels his heart speed up. He doesn't move though because this is probably the most comfortable he has ever been. Derek suddenly pulls Stiles closer and mumbles.

“Go back to sleep. Too early.” Stiles can feel Derek’s breath in his hair, giving him goose bumps.

“Okay…” Stiles whispers back and buries his face in Derek’s chest, hearing him sigh in comfort.Stiles doesn't fall asleep right away though. His thoughts are racing about last night. He feels better now that he is in Derek’s arms but he feels the guilt seep in for practically forcing the pack out of the loft. He really wanted to spend time with them.

Stiles almost laughs out loud at his next thought; he mostly wanted to spend time with Derek even though that’s all he’s done the past few days. And that’s what he was doing right now. He loves Derek.

Wait, what? Stiles’ eyes widen and he tenses up. What the hell did he just think? He is in love with Derek Fucking Hale? Shit.

“Hey, you alright?” He feels Derek mutter into his hair before his heart picks up.

“Um, yeah. Just thinking…” Stiles starts to loosen his grip on Derek but Derek doesn’t let him.

“Stop it. You’re freaking yourself out.” Derek gently makes sure Stiles can’t escape.

“Okay…” Stiles squeaks out trying to calm himself. It’s not that he isn’t okay with being in love with Derek, he is just terrified that Derek will find out. Or if he does find out, he won’t feel the same way. Oh, god. Can Derek smell it on him?

“Stiles. What are you thinking so hard about?” This time Derek is fully awake and looking down at Stiles.

“Uh, nothing. I need a shower. Can I take a shower here? I probably should take one before I have to see Mellissa today…” Stiles rambles as he scrambles awkwardly out of Derek’s arms and pushes himself out of bed.

“Yeah, sure. Towels are in the cabinet in the bathroom.” Derek narrows his eyes at Stiles and watches him carefully as he heads off to the bathroom.

Stiles rings his hands together as he walks to the bathroom. Derek is so going to find out. He can’t lie to a wolf, especially one that can _smell_ feelings. He reaches the bathroom, uses the toilet before stripping his clothes off and hopping into the shower.

Stiles lets the hot water slam onto his face for a few minutes before washing himself. He reaches for the shampoo when he sees it. He had to hide the razors from himself in his own bathroom but this was Derek’s bathroom and that was Derek’s razor. He stares at it for a minute before deciding to grab it and throw it over the shower door and across the bathroom. It sounded like it broke into a few pieces but he didn’t care. He couldn’t have it staring at him. He was at Derek’s for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t cut himself. Derek would definitely know. Knowing the feeling was going to nag at him all day, he made the haste decision of doing it later if he still felt like it, just to get his mind off it for now. Before he could think about it too much more, there was a knock at the door.

“Stiles, are you okay?” It was Derek, his voice coming through the door a little worried.

“I’m perfect. Just... taking precautions. I’ll be out in a minute, Der.” He forced himself to keep his voice steady.

“Yeah, alright.” Derek was obviously confused but shuffled back to the kitchen anyway, where he was making him and Stiles breakfast.

He couldn’t stop his thoughts from going to Stiles. Not just about whatever the hell just happened in the bathroom but before when Stiles was obviously freaking out next to Derek in bed. The fact that Derek’s heart just jumped when he thought about him and Stiles being in bed together was frustrating to him. If there was another wolf in the general vicinity, his feelings would have been given away.He knew he liked Stiles more than just a friend. He loved him, like a lot.

It scared Derek for many different reasons. One being his past relationships and two being that Stiles was… Well he was Stiles: stubborn, spastic, erratic, smart as hell, and sarcastic. But more importantly, Stiles was the best person Derek had ever met. He only hoped Stiles felt the same way.

Maybe that’s why Stiles was acting weird earlier. Does Stiles know how Derek feels? Honestly, Derek doesn’t want to hide anything from Stiles but this terrified him. Being scared wasn’t one of Derek’s strong suit so the only thing Derek could do was watch how Stiles acted around him. Or rather _smell_.

“Hey, do you have any clean clothes I can borrow?” Stiles was peaking out of the bathroom door, with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist, showing off his protruding ribs and happy trail.

“Yeah, hold on.” Derek tried to not let Stiles see the blush creeping up on his face as he left for his room to find Stiles some of _his_ clothes. He picked out a pair of boxers, jeans and a t-shirt, hoping they would fit him well enough, since he was about fifteen pounds lighter now.

“Here.” He walked back to the bathroom and handed the clothes to Stiles when he realized Stiles was going to smell like him all day. Now Derek really was blushing. He needed to get a hold of himself before other parts of his body starting doing things he couldn’t control.

“Thanks, Der.” Stiles gave a small smile before slipping back into the bathroom.

Derek rubbed his face with both hands as he walked back the kitchen to finish breakfast. He was so screwed.

Stiles changed into Derek Fucking Hale’s clothes after he dried off, trying not to think about it. But he was Stiles and thinking was what he did best. He was going to smell like Derek all day and it’s not that he was upset about it. Oh, no. He was fucking ecstatic about wearing Derek’s fucking _boxers_. He was so screwed.


	11. Stop Being Cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two idiots are cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this is a longer chapter and it's fluffy. No serious confessions yet but we are like two chapters away from that. I hope. It's making me angry that they aren't there yet and I'm the one writing it. Pff.
> 
> There are a few possible triggers in here so, *SPOILER*, Stiles talks about cutting in the past. (Also, to add to that, the next chapter, there are DEFINITELY going to be a lot more triggers. Gosh. Like, it's gonna get real bad. REAL REAL BAD. Sorry...)
> 
> I hope you guys are still enjoying this as much as I am. Leave me comments and stuff, I will gladly reply.

After Derek and Stiles eat breakfast in silence, both too caught up in their own thoughts, they drive to the hospital to meet with Melissa. Once in the car, Derek couldn’t help but notice how much Stiles was fidgeting, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t because Derek’s clothes didn’t fit him. He watched the boy out of the corner of his eye for a minute before saying anything, still nervous about this morning.

“It’s just Melissa.” Derek realizes that didn’t really make sense but he hoped Stiles knew what he was talking about.

“Yeah, well. She knows a lot about me…” Stiles mumbles down at his hoodie he had on over Derek’s shirt.

“What do you mean?” Derek furrows his brow, hoping to get some more information about the boy. He can feel Stiles tense next to him and before he speaks, he lets out a breath, almost like he was holding it in.

“You know how, this morning when I was taking a shower and you heard something fall and asked what happened and I said I was just taking precautions?” Stiles lets out in one fast breath. Derek nods, suddenly very interested. “I threw your… razor out of the shower because it was giving me death stares and you know… I didn’t want to be tempted…” Stiles doesn’t look at Derek as he rambles.

“That makes sense,” Derek wasn’t sure what to say but he was wondering why the sudden confession. “Why are you telling me this? Not that I don’t care- I do, a lot, really,” Derek looks at Stiles with the softest expression he can muster before continuing. “It’s just… random.” Derek finishes lamely.

“Well, Melissa knows about me. She has for a while…” Stiles frowns at his hands.

“What do you mean?” Derek responds softly, not wanting to scare him.

“The first time… I cut was when my mom died. I was eight, so I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. And it went on until I was fourteen then Melissa noticed and helped me through it. She was nice enough not to tell my dad.” Stiles seemed to be getting more anxious as he spoke.

“Do you trust her?” Derek says as he pulls into the hospital parking lot.

“Of course.” Stiles draws his eyebrows together and finally looks at Derek.

“Then you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.” Derek puts the car in park and gently caresses the back of Stiles’ head, hoping to calm him.

“Yeah, okay.” Stiles leans into Derek’s hand and whispers. Derek feels like he knows Stiles a little bit better now. “You know I also trust you, right?” Derek had started to get out of the car when he turned back to Stiles’ soft smile.

“You do?” Derek looked at the boy in awe, not really sure what to say.

“Of course, Derek.” The way Stiles says his name makes Derek’s heart clench.

“I trust you, too.” Derek speaks, barely above a whisper.

 

                                                                                                                   ~o0O0o~

 

“So, how are you feeling, Stiles?” Melissa asked Stiles once they were alone together in an exam room. Derek and Stiles walked into the hospital together and found Melissa. She made Derek wait outside so she could talk to Stiles alone. Stiles reassured Derek it would be okay after he almost _growled_ at her.

“Better,” Melissa was listening to his heart with her stethoscope while Stiles tried to calm down. His heart was beating faster than usual, mostly from nerves but his mind was somewhat elsewhere. “Sorta. Today is…weird.” Stiles finished lamely.

“How so?” She watches as Stiles lets out a shaky breath. Stiles knew he had to tell her the truth. Well, he honestly didn’t mind talking to Melissa about himself. She knew a lot and seemed to understand more than anyone. She was basically his adoptive mother.

“Well, I’m eating more regularly, mostly because of Derek,” Stiles eyes the door, hoping Derek wasn’t eavesdropping. “And I told him… about the cutting. We’re really close now. He’s been helping.” Melissa smiles at him fondly as she spoke.

“Are these his clothes?”

“How did you know?” Stiles asked surprised.

“Well, I know you’ve lost weight but I didn’t think it was that much. They’re a little big on you.” Melissa cracks a grin and chuckles.

“Yeah, I guess they are.” Stiles laughs with her.

He tells her about the panic attacks and nightmares. She reassures him that it’s normal when you have PTSD, which Stiles knew he had. He even tells her about the recent slip up he had with self-harm. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore but he knew he needed to tell Melissa. Stiles was pretty sure she already saw his wrist anyway.

“I think you’re good to go.” Melissa pats him on the knee and helps him off the exam table. “Stiles?”

“Yeah, Melissa?” Stiles responds warily. There was concern in her voice.

“Scott misses you. I think it would be good for both of you if you hung out soon.” She rubs a hand on his back.

“I miss him, too… Is he busy this evening?” Stiles wasn’t sure about a sleepover but he really did want to see his best friend.

“He shouldn't be. Call him.” Melissa grins as she walks Stiles into the hallway.

“I will. Hey, can you tell my dad about the exam because he won’t believe me if I tell him it was fine… I’m fine, right? I’m not…” Stiles rambles before stopping himself.

“Stiles, you are doing great. Keep up whatever you’re doing… Derek seems to be a good influence.” Melissa tries to relax Stiles before Derek strolls up to them.

“Everything okay?” Derek looks between the two and his eyes rest on Stiles.

“Perfect. You are free to go.” Melissa smiles and hugs Stiles before heading back to work.

“All good?” Derek asks again to Stiles this time as he wraps his arm around his back.

“I think.” Stiles mumbles into Derek’s shoulder.

“Come on. I’ll take you home. Your dad is probably wondering where you’ve been.” Derek ushers Stiles out of the hospital and into the car.

They drive in comfortable silence to Stiles’ house, both lost in thoughts about each other.

Pulling into the driveway, they see the Sheriff’s police cruiser parked next to Stiles’ jeep. Stiles groans softly pulling a laugh from Derek because he knows Stiles is just being dramatic. Stiles tries dragging his feet but Derek pushes him inside. They are greeted by the Sheriff’s smile.

“Hey, kid! How’s it going?” The Sheriff pulls Stiles into a tight hug, barely leaving room to breathe.

“Hi, dad. It’s going fine.” Stiles sighs into the hug and then pulls back smiling at his dad. “Hey, I’m going to call Scotty. You two make nice.” Stiles gestured from his dad to Derek, who was standing awkwardly behind them. He could hear them trying to make small talk as he headed upstairs to his room.

Stiles breathes out as he collapses on his bed, pulling out his phone and dialing Scott’s number from memory. He wanted to see Scott but he was still anxious about it. He hated it when Scott was worried about him but he knew he couldn’t avoid him. He wouldn’t want to anyway; he loves Scott like his own brother. They practically are brothers anyway. Stiles is greeted with a surprised Scott through his phone.

“Stiles! Hey, buddy. What’s up?” He can hear Scott smiling from ear to ear.

“Hey, Scotty. Not much. You busy later?” Stiles softly smiles at his best friend for being such a dork. He pushes himself off his bed, finding different clothes to wear. (Ones that actually fit.)

“Not at all! Want to hang out at my place?” Scott sounds like he’s jumping up and down. Stiles can hear Kira giggling in the background. Freaking dorks.

“Absolutely,” Stiles snorts out. “Is five good? We can order pizza and watch a movie or something.” Stiles is genuinely happy that his best friend is happy.

“Yeah! I’ll see you then, bro. Oh, hey, um…” Scott seems to forget how to speak making Stiles laugh again.

“Yes, Scotty?” Stiles smiles into the phone.

“Is Derek coming?” Scott blurts out making Stiles blush. God, he is so happy no one can see him.

“Nah, man. It’s just you and me. Why do you ask?” Stiles reassures him.

“It’s just you guys seem really close lately and I didn’t know if something was going on or-.”

“Scott,” Stiles interrupts him before he can say anything else that’s going to embarrass Stiles. “If something was going on, I would tell you. He’s just helping and I don’t mind his company…” Stiles stops himself this time.

“Sure…” Stiles can hear him smiling again.

“Scott!” Stiles cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling now.

“I’ll see you later, bro!” Scott hangs up before Stiles can defend himself but not before he hears Scott and Kira giggling like school girls.

“Whatever, you freaking dork.” Stiles mumbles to himself. He pulls Derek’s pants off and neatly folds them on top of his dresser. Maybe he can hide them and tell Derek they got lost. He shakes his head at himself as he finds a pair of his own pants and slips them on. Stiles is just taking off the shirt when he hears something behind him.

“Who’s a freaking dork?” Derek pushes the door open and stares at Stiles innocently.

“Ahhh! Shit, fuck!” Stiles sputters out, almost losing his balance as he clutches his bare chest.

“Sorry-,” Derek tries but Stiles cuts him off.

“You’re going to give me an actual heart attack, dude. I have a very fragile heart, if you haven’t noticed. Do you not know how to knock? I know you were _literally_ raised by wolves but damn!” Stiles finishes with a huff as he bends over, holding onto his knees, willing his heart not to burst.

“Stiles, I’m sorry. I thought you heard me. I was coming to tell you your dad is making us lunch,” Derek walks toward the younger boy, placing a hand on his cold shoulder blade. He tries not to notice how Stiles isn’t wearing a shirt and- oh, God… his pants aren’t even buttoned. Derek wills himself to snap out of it. “I can leave if you want…” He takes a step back toward the door.

“No, Derek, it’s okay. You just scared me.” Stiles noticed how Derek has suddenly closed himself off and looks like he might _actually_ cry. “Seriously, Derek. Stop with the face thing. It’s cute but you need to stop.” It takes a second before Stiles realizes he just called Derek Hale cute. _Cute_.

“Don’t call me cute. I’m a werewolf.” Derek tries to growl but it just comes off even more cute.

“Oh, my _god_. Stop it. Now _you’re_ the freaking dork.” Stiles pushes Derek lightly on the chest before he grabs a t-shirt and slips it on. He looks up and notices Derek frowning at him. The next thing he knows is Derek pulling him into a hug and holding on for dear life. “Uh, Der? You okay, buddy?”

Derek responds with a small grunt and continues to bury his face in Stiles' shoulder. Little does Stiles know, Derek is upset about him changing clothes. Derek’s wolf is mostly to blame for the hug, though. Well, it’s more of a I-want-you-to-smell-like-me-again hug. Derek probably should have been more subtle about it.

Stiles doesn’t mind the hug at all. Derek is warm and of course, this is what Stiles wants. He wants Derek but since that’s not going to happen, he’s going to take what he can get. He’s not sure why Derek is hugging him but a minute ago he looked sad so he rubs the wolf’s back softly, hopefully comforting him.

The hug is interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Stiles looks over Derek’s shoulder to see his dad standing in the doorway with a huge smirk on his face.

“Uh, hey, dad. Uh…” Stiles quickly pulls away from Derek but he doesn’t really budge. He keeps his arm wrapped tightly around Stiles’ waist, not really caring that the Sheriff is right there.

“Lunch is ready.” Stiles’ dad grunts out before leaving them alone again.

“We’ll be down in a second.” Stiles calls after him. Great. His dad is going to ask questions.

“I think he made turkey sandwiches.” Derek literally sniffs the air.

“Oh, _my god_. You need to _stop_. You’re like a bunny. A cute, warm bunny.” Stiles beams up at the wolf, not really caring what comes out of his mouth. Derek playfully growls at that and pushes him out of the door and down the stairs. “I think I might have to start calling you Sourbunny, instead of Sourwolf.”

“Shut up.” Derek grunts out but smiles at the stupid nickname anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave me a comment!!!!
> 
> (Here's a teaser for the next chapter: Scott, being his oblivious self, actually figures out that Derek and Stiles are into each other. But he thinks that Stiles knows about Derek liking him. UH OH.)


	12. Yippee-Ki-Yay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More cuddles and less awkwardness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this is kind of just a filler. I needed to get this out before I wrote the next HUGE chapter. OMG. I'm super excited about the next stuff that's gonna happen. Ughhhh.
> 
> Basically this is just the calm before the storm, I guess you could say.
> 
> No trigger warnings in here, BUT next chapter, yes. And I will make sure to say that again and explain.
> 
> THANKS!!!!

Derek, Stiles and the Sheriff are in the middle of lunch when Derek notices how nervous Stiles has become. He glances over at him and sees that he hasn’t eaten more than a bite of his sandwich. Derek assumes it’s because the Sheriff had started asking about the appointment with Melissa but once he got quiet, Stiles started fidgeting.

Stiles was sitting next to Derek, so he lightly put his hand on the younger boy’s knee, trying to calm him. His heart jumped and then he settled a bit before taking another bite of his sandwich.

“Well, boys,” The Sheriff speaks up as he looks intently at his phone. “I guess you’re on your own. I have to go back into work.” The Sheriff sighs as he picks up his plate to take it to kitchen.

“Oh, dad, I’ll get your plate.” Stiles gets out of his chair and meets his dad at the door to the kitchen, reaching for his plate before patting him on the back.

“Thanks, son. I’ll see you guys later,” The Sheriff pats his son back and turns toward the front door. “Will you be here tonight, Stiles?” The Sheriff looks at his son as he slides his gun into his belt.

“I think so. I’ll text you if I’m not.” Stiles gives a soft smile to his father, reassuring him.

“Okay, bye boys.” He calls as he closes the front door behind him

Derek slides out of his chair picking up his and Stiles’ plate, bringing them into the kitchen and helping Stiles load them into the dishwasher.

“Hey, um, I was going to go over to Scott’s later, if that’s alright with you…” Stiles asks nervously.

“Of course. I’ll give you a ride. I have errands to run, so that gives me time to do them.” Derek smiles as they walk into the living room and sit down next to each other on the couch.

“I’m probably not going to spend the night, though. I’ll just come back here…” Stiles sighs as he closes his eyes and rests his head on the back of the couch. Stiles yawns, scrunching up his nose making Derek smile.

“Okay, take a nap.” Derek puts his arm around Stiles’ shoulders and pulls him closer. Stiles became less nervous once his dad left, making Derek want to ask him what’s wrong but forces himself not to.

“Okay…” Stiles mumbles into Derek’s chest after he has successfully wrapped himself around the wolf.

Derek’s heart jumps when he feels the vibration from Stiles’ voice in his own chest. He sinks into Stiles, relaxing a bit as he thinks about how he got so deep into this. He wonders if Stiles never got possessed, if nobody was dead, if no one was emotionally scarred, would they still be this close? Derek has to think they would. He doesn’t know how he could live without his anchor now. He also knows that Stiles is clearly more than just an anchor.

Derek never really believed in the whole ‘wolf-mating’ thing, mostly because he’s never found anyone to love enough to be with him for the rest of his life. But, he thinks, Stiles could be that exception. Derek laughs out loud at the cliché only to hear Stiles make a noise of content against him.

Derek is terrified now. Could he tell Stiles? Would Stiles feel the same way and if he did, could they actually work out? What if Stiles didn’t feel the same way? He couldn’t lose what he and Stiles have, even if he wants more.

Derek shakes himself out of the thoughts before he does something selfish. His eyelids start to droop so he rests his head back against the couch and falls asleep almost immediately.

 

                                                                                                            ~o0O0o~ 

 

Derek is slowly brought back to reality by a soft buzzing. He reluctantly opens his eyes and locates the noise. He pulls Stiles’ cell out of the sleeping boy’s front pocket, trying not to disturb him. The screen is lit up and a goofy Scott McCall is sticking his tongue out at him. He hits answer and grunts out a hello.

“Derek? Where is Stiles? Is he okay? It’s past five…” Scott’s voice comes out too loud and worried for someone who just woke up to hear.

“Scott, calm down. He’s fine. We just fell asleep. I’ll get him up and we’ll be there soon.” Derek hangs up before Scott can get in another word. He throws the phone on the other side of the couch and gently rubs Stiles’ back, trying to wake him. “Stiles, wake up. It’s almost five-thirty.”

“Yippee ki-yay!” Stiles bolts straight up and almost smacks his face on the floor while simultaneously unwrapping himself from Derek. Derek lets out a bubble of laughter after he catches him.

“You okay there, Stiles?” Derek is almost giggling now.

“What are you laughing at? What did I say?” Stiles gets off the couch and awkwardly adjusts himself, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Nothing. You just… What were you dreaming about?” Derek grins up at him.

“Uh, I think terrorists and… really tall buildings? Not really sure.” Stiles cocks his head to the side as he thinks.

“Nerd.” Derek snorts out, playfully and stands up, meeting Stiles’ eyes.

“Rude…” Stiles tries to come up with a better retort but he’s distracted by Derek’s eyes.

“Come on, I’ll take you to Scott’s. You’re late.” Derek pushes Stiles toward the door, grabbing his jacket he shrugged off earlier.

“Did he call? Was he freaking out?” Stiles winces, obviously feeling bad for worrying his best friend.

“A little. It’s fine though. I think he just really wants to see you.” Derek smiles as they make their way to the car and off to Scott’s.

 

                                                                                                             ~o0O0o~ 

 

“Do you want me to pick you up later?” Derek speaks up as he pulls into Scott’s driveway, putting the car in park. They drove with the windows cracked and the radio on. Stiles was messing with it almost the whole way, trying to find a good station.

“Um, no. I’ll get Scott to take me home. Don’t worry about it.” Stiles smiles getting out of the car. Derek follows him to the front porch steps and reaches for his hand before Stiles takes another step.

“Hey, text me if you need anything.” Derek tells Stiles, trying not to worry about leaving him alone. Well, with Scott, but sometimes Derek feels those two are the same.

“I will, Der.” Stiles shares a reassuring smile with him before letting go of his hand and wrapping his lanky arms around the wolf. They grip each other tight, waiting for a reason to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for the storm...


	13. Death Is Your Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles falls into the darkness once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is a big one. I apologize for it ahead of time.
> 
> There are a lot of triggers in this chapter. I actually had a hard time writing it myself. *SPOILERS* Stiles basically tries to kill himself by cutting his wrists. It's pretty gory, I would say. If you would like, I can rewrite the scene in a different way so that it's not so bad. Just let me know.
> 
> Thank you guys for the comments, keep them coming! <3
> 
> (Also, I find it ironic that this chapter is chapter 13. Pfff. Me and the number 13 hate each other.)

“Hey, Scotty.” Scott opened the front door the second Stiles knocked. He could here Derek driving away behind him as Scott pulled him into a death grip.

“Stiles!” Scott squeezed Stiles’ response out of him and pulled him inside. “You want to order pizza? What kind do you want?” Scott is practically bouncing up and down as he speaks.

“Um,” Stiles lets out a laugh at how ridiculous his best friend is. “I’ll eat whatever you get, buddy.” Stiles isn’t even sure if he’s hungry though. He was feeling great when he was with Derek but the second he let go of the wolf, he felt… empty? He’s not sure that’s the right word but he can’t think of anything else. He shakes himself out of his thoughts before Scott notices anything.

“Okay, I’ll go order it. Go find a movie to watch.” Scott bounds off to the kitchen as Stiles makes his way to the living room. Stiles knows that whatever movie they pick, he’s either going to fall asleep or be too deep in his own thoughts to know what’s happening. But he does find one that he knows Scotty will like.

“Did you find one?” Scott makes Stiles jump and drop the movie case.

“Shit!” Stiles clutches his heart and stares at Scott.

“Oh, God! Sorry. I thought you heard me, bro.” Stiles watches as Scott’s smile falls and he looks like a puppy that was struck by a newspaper.

“It’s okay… I’m just really…” Stiles doesn’t finish.

“Skittish? Jumpy? Paranoid?” Scott grins again.

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up.” Stiles returns the smile. He’s happy Scott can still joke around him. He was nervous about him babying Stiles.

“What movie did you pick?” Scott asks, dropping himself down on the couch.

“Uh, Die Hard With A Vengeance? For some reason I’m in the mood for Die Hard… Plus, Samuel L. Jackson is in this one.” Stiles sits next to Scott and drops the movie in his lap.

“He plays Nick Fury in The Avengers, right? The grumpy guy with the eye patch?” Scott scans the movie case.

“Yeah.” Stiles laughs at his description.

“Speaking of grumpy, you smell an awful lot like Derek. You want to tell me anything?” Scott always surprised Stiles when he was observant. He felt a blush creep up on his pale cheeks.

“There is nothing to tell.” Stiles lies, avoiding Scott’s gaze.

“Liar. He said you guys fell asleep earlier. Fell asleep… together?” Scott was smirking now.

“Scott,” Stiles groans out his best friend’s name, not wanting to talk about it but he knew Scott wasn’t going to let it drop. “He’s just been helping and we’re both really tired so we end up falling asleep a lot.” Stiles runs his hand through his hair.

“And?” Scott pushes.

“And what?” Stiles pulls his legs up wrapping his arms around them.

“You like him. And he likes you. A lot.” Scott smiles softly at his best friend.

“No, he doesn’t.” Stiles grumbles out, hiding his face.

“You do like him! And he likes you! Do you not know that?” Scott’s smile fades when he realizes.

“Know what? There is nothing to know, Scott.” Stiles doesn’t look at him.

“Stiles, if he didn’t like you as more than a friend, you wouldn’t smell like him so much. He’s not very touchy-feely, if you haven’t noticed. You guys are obviously happier around each other.” Scott puts his hand on Stiles’ shoulder, getting his attention.

“Really? Do you think he really feels the same way?” Stiles drops his guard a little.

“Yes.” Scott answers with conviction.

Stiles doesn’t reply but he also doesn’t get his hopes up. He trusts Scott but he doesn’t trust himself. He really doesn’t want to think about this right now, especially since he can’t do anything about it. He gives a soft smile to his best friend before he speaks.

“Let’s start the movie.” Stiles takes the movie from Scott’s hand and gets up to put it in the player. The door bed rings making his heart jump.

“Pizza!” Scott yells as he rushes to the door. “Mom, I need money!” He yells up the stairs as he opens the door and greets Danny. Stiles forgot that Danny might be working tonight. He walks up to him almost shyly.

“Hey, Danny. Sorry about the other day. With Derek…” Stiles felt guilty about daring Derek to kiss Danny. He probably shouldn’t have used Danny like that.

“Stiles, you don’t have to apologize. He’s a really good kisser.” Danny admits, blushing a little. Stiles snorts as Scott comes up behind him with a wad of cash.

“Keep the change, bro.” Scott grins at Danny, handing him the money and taking the pizza.

“Thanks, see you guys later.” Danny waves bye and walks off the porch.

Scott and Stiles get comfortable on the couch eating pizza and watching Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson try to save New York. Stiles eats half a piece of pizza before he can’t stomach it anymore. He’s not sure if it’s the bloody movie or his nerves getting to him but his stomach starts to churn. He’s never been a big fan of throwing up and if he threw up now, it would worry Scott. So, he focuses on his breathing and drinks his glass of water.

Stiles forces himself to close his eyes and not think about anything. But he’s Stiles, so that doesn’t work. After a few minutes of listening to the explosions from the movie, he feels himself drift off to sleep. He lets it take over, thinking sleep was better than where his brain was bound to end up.

 

_He wakes up in his own bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, when he notices his bedroom window is cracked open. He pushes himself out of bed and makes his way to the window and the darkness behind it._

_“Don’t.” Stiles hears a voice in the back of his head. Thinking it’s someone in his room, he swivels his head around, not finding anyone. He decided to ignore the voice- which is only getting louder- out of curiosity._

_He reaches the window, feeling a sense of déjà vu, and slides it up slowly. He scans his eyes across the darkness before he sees it._

_Allison is wrapped around a tree, swords sticking out of her bloody and bruised body. He tries to take a step back but can’t move. The next thing he sees brings tears to his eyes._

_“That’s your future, Stiles.” The voice in his head speaks clear and honest. He takes a step forward, falling over the window sill and into his dark future._

 

The fall stuns him out of sleep, sending him upright and gagging. He hears Scott’s voice behind him as he takes off for the bathroom. He can feel his chest shrinking and his stomach in his throat. Stiles makes it in time to the toilet. He quickly locks the door behind him, not wanting Scott to see him. He throws up the small amount of food he ate and lays his head on the floor after he flushes.

“Stiles! Open the door. Let me help.” Scott’s voice comes through the door in a blur. Sobs make their way out of Stiles body as he sits up.

Thoughts and voices are racing through his brain. He’s still asleep, he knows it. This isn’t real and if it is, he’s possessed. This isn’t him.

“This isn’t me…” Stiles whispers to himself through sobs. He reaches for the sink and pulls himself off the floor. He knows it needs to end and he knows what to do. He can’t hurt anyone else. He can’t watch everyone he loves die at his hand. It’s going to happen eventually, somehow. So, he does what he knows best and reaches for a razor blade in the mirror cabinet.

He holds out his arm and swipes the blade down, going as deep as his brain will allow. He only makes it halfway on the other arm before he sees spots in his vision. He’s blacking out. _Good_. He’ll bleed out before he changes his mind.

Stiles falls to the floor with a loud thump and slips into the darkness once again.

 

 

Scott is banging on the bathroom door now, trying to get Stiles to open it. He can hear and smell Stiles panicking and he knows he’s not going to be able to calm him. He pulls out his phone and texts Derek as fast as he can.

_‘Get here now.’_

He smells iron, sending his wolf in a craze and then hears a crash. Stiles is bleeding. Scott kicks open the door as he screams for his mother.

“Stiles! No,no,no…” Scott freezes at the blood pooling around Stiles’ fragile body. He falls down next to him and grips Stiles’ wrists as tight as he can. He hears his mom reach the door and suck in a breath.

“Oh, my God. What happened, Scott?” Melissa opens the hall closet, grabbing a first aid kit and kneeling next to the two boys.

“I don’t know. He fell asleep and he seemed fine for a while. But then he took off for the bathroom and I think he threw up. And he was panicking and then…” Scott trails off hoping his mother can piece together the rest.

“Okay, breathe, Scott. Keep pressure on the wounds. Don’t let up.” Melissa opens the first aid box and pulls out gauze, unwrapping it with steady hands.

“Is he going to be okay?” Scott whispers with a shaky breath.

“Yes. He doesn’t need stitches but if you let go for too long, he will bleed out,” Melissa has two pieces of gauze in her hands. “Now, I’m going to put this gauze on the cuts and I need you to put your hands back on and keep them there until they stop bleeding. Got it?” Melissa gives her son an encouraging look as Scott nods. “Here we go…”

They get the gauze where it needs to go without letting much blood pass. Scott focuses his attention on Stiles’ breathing and heart rate. Both are off, even for Stiles but he’s still alive. Scott can smell the blood drying and informs his mom.

“Okay, let up just a little and tell me if you smell more blood.” Scott does as his mother says.

“No, I think… It’s slowed down.” Scott visibly relaxes but his wolf is still on high alert.

“Okay, we need to wrap his arms,” Melissa cuts off more gauze and tape. “Let go of his left wrist,” Scott slowly lets go and watches his mother remove the blood soaked cloth and replace it with a clean one. “Now the other one... This one’s not as bad…” Melissa remarks as she wraps it.

“We can’t tell his dad. At least not yet.” Scott speaks to his mother without taking his eyes off his best friend.

“Okay, let’s just wait until he wakes up. Call Derek.” As Melissa answers, they hear the front door slam open and a growl come from behind them.

“Stiles…” Derek stares down at his anchor covered in his own blood, feeling his eyes change colors. “What the hell happened?” He knees down as Melissa and Scott stand. He reaches for Stiles’ face, avoiding his wrists.

“He freaked out… I don’t know… He was asleep and then ran in here and…” Scott’s voice is interrupted by a sob. He covers his face with the inside of his elbow, avoiding his best friend’s blood on his hands and cries.

“Derek, you need to tell me everything you know.” Melissa pulls her son against her and speaks to Derek with authority.

Before Derek can answer, Stiles jerks awake screaming. Melissa drops down to the floor and holds his arms in place as Derek wraps himself around the bloody boy.

“Stiles, shh. It’s me, you’re okay. It’s okay. You’re awake.” Derek gently talks over his screams and waits for him to realize where he is. Stiles speaks through sobs.

“Let me go! I don’t want to hurt anyone else. Please, just let me… die.” Stiles whispers the last word before he passes out again.

Derek doesn’t know what to say or do so he wipes sweaty hair out of the boys face and listens to his heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger, but the next chapter should be up soon. ;3


	14. Wounds Fade, Scars Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to be laid out on the table. And by things, I mean feelings. Lot's of emotions and feelings. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here IT is!!!!!!!! 
> 
> I would just like to say that I wasn't feeling to great while writing this, so hopefully it's up to par and there aren't any mistakes. (I almost threw up and passed out in the shower. It was bad. But kind of funny, because what I wrote for Stiles in the last chapter when he was in the bathroom, was basically what almost happened to me (minus the blood). Weird.)
> 
> ANYWAY, there are a few triggers, *SPOILERS* it talks about cutting a little, and a little about what the cuts look like. Some more blood, too. Hopefully that's it for triggers.
> 
> (Oh, and I know Stiles probably should be going to the hospital but I hate writing hospital scenes and I don't want the Sheriff to find out that way. I want Stiles to tell him, which is the next chapter. Also, I've read that you can't put stitches in vertical cuts on wrists, so, with that, I did my best.)
> 
> THANKS FOR READING. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

He feels a familiar warmth wrapped around his cold body as he wakes up a second time. This time it’s different. He’s staring up at the night sky. It’s moving fast, making him dizzy. He closes his eyes again as he sinks into the warmth. He hears a door being opened and then feels the warmth fade and being replaced by cold leather. He lets out a soft groan at the change.

“Shh, Stiles. I’m taking you home.” Derek’s voice comes through foggy, relaxing him and pulling him back under.

 

 

When Stiles wakes up again, it’s not by choice. There is soft pressure on his shoulder and he can hear someone whispering in his ear.

“Stiles… Wake up.” Stiles recognizes the voice as Derek’s and almost smacks himself in the face. “Stiles, stop moving. It’s me, Derek. You’re in your own bed.”

Stiles heart rate had sped up and he could feel his hands trembling. He tried to sit up but Derek softly pushes him back down, his warm hand on his chest. Stiles’ bare chest.

“Why am I not wearing a shirt?” Stiles croaks out, wincing at his own voice. Derek flinches before answering.

“It was covered in blood.” Derek whispers, watching Stiles carefully.

“Who’s…,” Stiles starts to ask but then everything comes flooding back and he tenses up, raising his arms to look at them. “Oh, my god…” Stiles can feel himself panicking as tears run down his cheeks. He sits up, his arms in his lap and his breathing uneven.

“Stiles, I’m sorry.” Derek moves next to the hurt boy and runs his hand up and down his spine.

“Why are you apologizing? I should be the one apologizing… I tried to, I tried-,” Stiles can feel his heart in his throat, finding it hard to breathe.

“Just breathe, Stiles. You’re okay.” Derek had moved to sit in front of Stiles now, resting his hands on the crying boy’s cheeks.

Stiles was ready to tell Derek that he wasn’t okay and never would be okay, when a hand slaps over his mouth. He stares into Derek’s eyes, bewildered. Was Derek trying to smother Stiles?

“Hold your breath,” Derek looks like he’s pulling at strings but Stiles obeys, trusting him. After about ten seconds, Derek slowly slips his hand away and smiles at Stiles. “Better?”

“How did you know to do that?” Stiles remembers Lydia kissing him to get him to hold his breath.

“Lydia told me about it. I was going to kiss you but I didn’t want you to panic anymore.” Derek shyly smiles up at Stiles through his eyelashes. Stiles can’t help but widen his eyes in shock.

“It would have been a good kind of panic,” Stiles whispers, watching Derek smile again. He returned the smile, happy Derek didn’t flinch or run away. Then, Stiles sees Derek’s eyes flick to his bandaged wrists. “I thought I was possessed, I didn’t want to hurt anyone again…” Stiles whispers into his lap, full of guilt and pain.

“I know and I wish I was there. I shouldn’t have left you,” Derek holds Stiles hands in his lap, trying to soothe him. “You know, a guy I know once said something really smart. ‘Death doesn’t happen to you, it happens to everyone around you.’” This draws a gasp from Stiles’ lips.

“That was me. When did…?” Stiles doesn’t finish, just stares at Derek in awe.

“The night that Gerard took you, and Peter and I were going after Jackson, I stopped by here to see if you were okay. That’s when I heard you with Lydia. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but-,” Derek is cut off by Stiles’ firm mouth being pressed against his.   

It was a quick, soft kiss. Stiles pulled back as soon as he realized what he was doing and stared into Derek’s eyes, waiting for him to do something. Derek stared back at him for a good minute before Stiles couldn’t take the silence.

“Derek, I need you to say something. I’m going to lose my mind. Again-,” Stiles is cut off this time by Derek crashing his lips into Stiles’ again, this time deeper and with more meaning.

“I shouldn’t- have left- you…,” Derek mumbles desperately between their lips, pressing Stiles comfortably back on the bed.

“Then don’t.” Stiles responds, his voice more wrecked then before. Derek pulls back, his pupils taking over his eyes and speaks with a promise.

“I won’t,” Derek presses one last kiss to Stiles’ lips then one on his forehead. “You need rest. You have a concussion. I’ll wake you every hour.” He lays to Stiles’ side, staring at him.

“I’m pretty sure I’m never going to be able to sleep now because of what just happened.” Stiles squishes his face on his pillow, smiling at Derek.

“Me neither.” Derek snorts before responding.

They lay in comfortable silence, wrapped up together. Stiles’ thoughts are interrupted by the sudden pain in his wrists. He tries to hide it but his fidgeting gives it away.

“We should probably change the bandages. Sit up,” Derek rolls out of bed and reaches for something out of Stiles’ view, coming back with a first aid kit. Stiles starts to pull at the tape on his arms but Derek stops him. “Let me do it. I’ll take the pain…”

“No, you don’t have to. This is my fault…” Stiles can’t help but protest. Derek frowns up at him as he speaks.

“Stiles, I need you to listen to me,” Derek starts to peel away the bloody bandages. “You may have done this but it’s not your fault. Now, let me take the pain. Please, Stiles.” Derek pleads with him, his eyes watering.

“Okay…” Stiles reluctantly agrees, looking away from Derek. He feels a warm hand cup his chin, lifting his face up. Derek smiles at him before placing a reassuring kiss on Stiles’ lips. He can’t help but think that he could get used to that as he smiles shyly.

Derek redresses Stiles’ wounds as he pulls the pain, only wincing once. Stiles on the other hand, gags at the blood several different times. He would have laughed if the situation wasn’t so serious. He couldn’t get over how deep the cuts were. How had he managed to do that? Whenever he cut himself before, he could never go deep enough to leave scars. Maybe, he was just thinking practically because if he left a scar, it would have been noticed eventually. Wounds went away, scars didn’t.

The cuts are going to leave scars; huge, raised scars that he is going to have for the rest of his life. He’s going to have to tell people what happened. He has to tell his dad.

“Stiles?” Derek pulls him out of his thoughts as he finishes wrapping the second arm. “Hey, whatever you’re thinking, we will get through it.”

“We?” Stiles looks into Derek’s soft expression.

“Yes, I told you before, Stiles. I’m not leaving; ever. Unless of course, you want me to.” Derek’s smile falters at the last sentence.

“I’m not leaving you either. I promise I won’t ever do this again. And I know that’s a huge promise but I mean it… I like you, Derek. A lot, I have for a while now.” Stiles thinks he has nothing left to lose so he tells Derek what he’s been thinking for the past week.

“I like you, too, Stiles. A lot.” Derek rolls his eyes playfully as he repeats Stiles’ words. Stiles laughs and pulls him back down next to him, kissing Derek softly.

“So, is this like, a thing? Are we a thing?” Stiles breaks the kiss making Derek growl at him.

“Yes, Stiles. We are a _thing_ ,” Derek snorts at Stiles, who is now underneath him and kissing him softly. “Now, try to sleep.” Derek rolls over and wraps his arms around Stiles naked waist, warming him up.

Derek stays up making sure Stiles will be okay. He’s not sure he could sleep anyway, what with them now being a _thing_ , as Stiles put it. Derek smiles into Stiles neck, happy that he doesn’t have to hide his feelings for Stiles anymore. He knows things aren’t perfect and won’t be for a while, if they ever will be. But he’s happy in this moment and that’s all that matters right now. Stiles is all that matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me some comments. <3


	15. What's With All The Blushing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is slowly coming to terms with everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm sorry about the wait. This isn't much, like at all, but I've been having some writers block. BUT, I have a few ideas for next chapters. And I know the ending kind of seems like the story is over but it's not. I did that because the next chapters are kind of in the future but not really. I don't how to explain it. There will be more though and they will mostly be about Derek and Stiles' relationship. As usual. Lol. 
> 
> Trigger warnings: *SPOILERS* Stiles thinks about the convo with his dad but it's nothing graphic. Just about what happened.
> 
> Thanks for sticking around and thanks for all the new readers. :))

Stiles wakes up first, after being woken up every hour through the night, with Derek splayed out on top of him. He sighed into Derek’s neck as he wrapped his arm tighter around the wolf. He was about to kiss Derek’s neck when he heard someone clear their throat. His body goes rigid as his eyes widen. He peers over Derek’s shoulder to see his dad and Scott standing in the door way. Scott had a small grin on his face but his dad looked like he was ready to pull out his gun.

“Derek, wake up,” Stiles tried to nudge the stronger man on top of him but Derek just nuzzled into his neck. “Derek, we have company…” Stiles whispered into his ear finally getting his attention. Derek’s eyes shot open and he seemed to realize who the ‘company’ was. He rolled off Stiles and off the bed, almost gracefully (almost), and stood in front of Scott and the Sheriff, his face beat red.

Stiles followed his suit as Derek stared at him, his face screaming for help. Stiles notices Scott’s face drop and follows his eyes. He looks down at his bandaged wrists, almost forgetting about yesterday and murmurs a curse to himself. Stiles curls in on himself, feeling self conscious, when he sees his dad staring. His dad’s arms became uncrossed as he took a step toward Stiles, reaching out for him.

“Stiles, you need to tell me what happened. Right now.” Stiles could see several expressions cross his dad’s face.

“Uh, yeah. Let’s go downstairs.” Stiles whispers, glancing at Derek, who nods in encouragement. Stiles grabbed a shirt from his dresser before following his dad downstairs, leaving Scott and Derek in his room.

 

 

Scott wasn’t trying to cause anymore hurt for Stiles but he needed to see if he was okay. He hoped the Sheriff wasn’t home but his cruiser was in the driveway. Scott wasn’t sure what to say when Stiles’ dad answered the door so he simply said he wanted to see Stiles. The Sheriff ended up walking Scott to Stiles’ room and that is when they saw him and Derek wrapped around each other. Scott couldn’t help but grin when he smelled how happy they both were. But his grin faltered when he remembered why he was here. The Sheriff caught on pretty quickly demanding an explanation.

Scott and Derek were now in Stiles’ room, awkwardly staring at their feet. Derek sat back on the bed, rubbing his face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for…” Scott doesn’t finish as he takes a seat in the desk chair behind him.

“It’s okay. Stiles would have had to tell his dad eventually.” Derek reassures the young alpha.

“Um, so, are you guys…” Scott trails off, hoping Derek knows what he meant to ask. Derek blushes before lifting his head.

“Yeah.” Derek says simply, trying to hide a smile.

“Cool,” Scott grins happily before becoming as serious as he can get. “Just to remind you, I am an alpha and I will kill you if you hurt him.” Scott threatens lamely but Derek doesn’t hear his heart stutter, making him a little more nervous than he would like to admit.

“Trust me, I’ll probably kill myself because you can.” Derek huffs out, knowing it’s the truth. They sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Derek speaks up again. “They are done talking,” He can hear Stiles sniffing as his heart flutters in his chest. “Let’s go.”

Derek and Scott meet Stiles and his dad in the kitchen. Derek slides in next to Stiles on the kitchen table bench, running his hand up and down his back, in comfort. Stiles seemed to relax into it. Scott hopped up onto the counter, swinging his feet as he smiled at Stiles. Stiles gladly returned the smile.

“What’s going on between you two?” The Sheriff was relaxing into his chair as he asked bluntly. Stiles’ head turned toward his father as his cheeks burned red.

“Uh, we are… together?” Stiles isn’t really sure what word to use because him and Derek hadn’t talked about it much the night before. Derek visibly squeezes Stiles’ hand and nods at the Sheriff.

“Okay, but I need to remind you both that Stiles isn’t eighteen yet.” Stiles almost chokes at his dad’s words.

“Dad!” Stiles blurts out, his red face matching Derek’s ears. “First of all, this is _very_ new,” He gestures between Derek and him. “Second of all, I will be eighteen in a month and Derek is only twenty-two. Do you not remember that mom was six years older than you?” Stiles finishes confidently.

“Yeah, okay.” The Sheriff doesn’t argue with his son, just smiles as he gets up to leave for work, kissing Stiles on the forehead.

 

 

Scott leaves after they have breakfast together to go hang out with Kira who he wouldn’t stop talking about while they ate. Stiles was happy for the distraction though. His conversation with his father was nerve racking but overall, it was fine. There wasn’t screaming or angry fighting. It was just Stiles and his father having a meaningful and honest ‘discussion’. When Stiles told his father about the cuts and what had happened the night before, he couldn’t help but cry when he watched the emotions on his father’s face. He managed to get everything out though, even how long the cutting had been happening.

Stiles felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders. But at the same time, he felt another weight rest back down. He was going to live with these scars his whole life, physically and emotionally. There was no magic cure for this; at least not one that wouldn’t cause anymore side effects. He could easily ask for the bite and the cuts would be gone, but he had a gut feeling that that isn’t what would happen. The bite might not even take. He could die slowly and painfully as everyone around him watches him die. He doesn’t want that. He may have wanted his life to end so he wouldn’t hurt anyone but now he hears Derek’s words in his mind. ‘ _Death doesn’t happen to you, it happens to everyone around you.’_ Of course those were his words originally but it was nice hearing it from someone else; someone who cared. He now knows just how much Derek cares.

Derek Fucking Hale cares about him. Like a lot.

Stiles and Derek had made their way to the couch to curl up next to each other as Stiles’ mind wandered. He smiles up at Derek at his last thought and places small kisses to his fuzzy jaw. Derek sighs into it and pulls Stiles’ legs over his lap. Stiles lowers his mouth to Derek’s neck, pulling a growl from the wolf.

“You’re making me crazy.” Derek mumbles into Stiles’ hair, pulling him closer.

“Good…” Stiles purrs into his neck before meeting Derek’s mouth in a sloppy, wet kiss that ends in both of them panting into each other’s mouths. They know they shouldn’t take it any further but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Eventually, they fall asleep wrapped around each other again, both mentally exhausted and genuinely happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me some comments! 
> 
> Teaser: Next chapter is finally a movie night with the pack.


	16. I Love You's And Puppy Piles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As an apology for taking so long, this is the longest chapter I've written for this story. Bless all of you darlings for reading. (All mistakes are my own.)

The next morning Stiles’ dad makes him go to the hospital to see someone, meaning Melissa, look at his arms. Stiles was about to protest but saw the concern wash over his dad’s face. He sighed to himself and wrapped his arms around his worried father, agreeing to go.

“But only if Derek can go,” Stiles quickly adds. His father replies quicker, saying he has to wait outside the exam room. Stiles huffs in agreement.

 

 _The Sheriff, his son and his son’s werewolf boyfriend all walk into a hospital room_ , Stiles thinks to himself as they wait by the front desk and smirks. Derek raises his eyebrows in question and Stiles gladly tells him the joke. He watches as Derek tries to hide his smile of amusement.

“You’re an idiot.” Derek smiles fondly at him and wraps his arm around Stiles’ shoulders.

About five minutes later, Melissa finds the three of them and escorts them back to an exam room. Derek is about to walk in after Stiles but is stopped by a firm hand being slapped on his chest. He looks up mid-growl to see the Sheriff shaking his head.

“Wait here.” The older man gives the wolf a look of warning before closing the door in his face.

Derek hears Stiles defending him to his father and then Stiles apologizing under his breath, no doubt directed to Derek. He finds a chair across from the door and focuses on the only thing that keeps him calm; Stiles’ heartbeat.

 

“Alright, Stiles. I’m going to take the bandages off and disinfect the wounds. It’s going to be painful,” Melissa slaps gloves on her small hands as she warns Stiles, who is fidgeting on the exam table. She pushes a tray with wheels towards him full of medical supplies. “Ready?” Melissa looks up through her eye lashes in front of him and waits for a reply.

Stiles becomes distracted by the mystery objects on the silver tray next to him and wonders why he’s never researched medical supplies. The thought dies off as he is brought out of his trance by a snap of fingers.

“Stiles?” His dad rests a soft hand on his shoulder, worry in his eyes.

“Yeah? Oh, sorry. Yeah, yes, I’m ready.” Stiles rambles out before flashing his most convincing smile at the two adults.

Melissa gives him one last look before peeling away the bandages. Stiles hears a gasp come from his father, forgetting he hasn’t seen how bad his self-inflicted injuries are. He can feel his dad wanting to say something but focuses instead on what the nurse is doing. She pulls a few cotton balls from a clear jar and dips them in what Stiles thinks is the disinfectant.

She nods at Stiles, silently telling him this is going to hurt. He hisses at the first contact of the damp cotton. A low growl emits from the hallway, causing the three to simultaneously look up at the door. Stiles laughs, distracting himself from the pain for a moment.

“You’re not going to keep him out much longer.” Stiles glances at his dad and back at the door, where they left Derek. The Sheriff rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything.

Melissa continues her work gently, even though Stiles winces more, causing Derek’s growls to get louder. Stiles starts to feel bad for Derek; he knows he’s just trying to protect him and his dad isn’t making it any easier.

“Just get in here already, Der.” Stiles huffs out, rolling his eyes at his dad’s disapproving expression.

The door swings open and Derek is by Stiles’ side, pulling his pain before Stiles even finish his eye roll. He watches his boyfriend’s shoulders relax when Stiles’ isn’t in pain anymore. Stiles’ lets out a fond laugh and presses a quick kiss on Derek’s cheek, making his ears turn red.

Melissa finishes her work and wraps Stiles’ arms gently, giving him directions on keeping it clean.

“And I’m guessing you don’t need pain killers?” Melissa smirks at Derek, pulling even more of a blush from him, and laughs.

 

The ride back to the Stilinski house is silent but comfortable. Well, as comfortable as it’s going to get. The Sheriff watches his son and _his werewolf boyfriend_ from the rearview mirror. Stiles insisted on sitting in the back of the police cruiser with Derek when he saw the smirk on his dad’s face as Derek slid in the back. Stiles glared at his father even though he knows he is just looking out for him.

“We should have a movie night with the pack.” Stiles pipes up after a minute too long of silence.

“Okay, at the loft?” Derek is gently playing with Stiles’ fingers, not so subtly taking his pain in small increments. Stiles nods in reply.

“Don’t you all have school tomorrow?” The Sheriff interjects as he pulls into the driveway.

“Nope. It’s a teacher in-service day,” Stiles grins at his father. “Is it alright if I stay at Derek’s, with the pack for the night?” Stiles watches the different thoughts crossing his dad’s face. “Dad, the whole pack is going to be there.” Stiles adds as they all get out of the car and make their way inside.

“Yeah, sure, Stiles. Like you said before; you’re almost eighteen. I don’t care what you do as long as you let me know where you are,” The sheriff pats his son on the back as he speaks. “Now, don’t bother me. I need a nap before I go back to the station.”

Stiles watches him climb the stairs, grumbling to himself about never getting any sleep.

“Sweet, I’ll text everyone, yeah?” Stiles follows Derek to the couch, sitting beside him.

“Already did. They will be there at four.” Derek wraps his arm around Stiles’ shoulders and rubs his nose against his neck.

“Oh, okay… Um,” Stiles knows he is going to have to tell the rest of the pack what had happened over the past few days but he’s finding it hard to find the words to even talk to Derek about it. Derek seems to notice his sudden change of emotions and decides to put Stiles’ mind at ease.

“I already texted Scott, too. He will tell everyone for you when you’re ready. That is if you want him to. Do you want me to tell him?” Derek is running his nose and mouth up and down the side of Stiles’ face, sending chills through the younger man.

“Yeah, thanks…” Stiles’ voice catches. He feels tears in his eyes but from what he can only assume is happiness. He’s never had anyone in his life that was this thoughtful and kind to him. Stiles can only hope this feeling never goes away. He turns his body sideways and places both his hands on either side of Derek’s face, holding him still. It catches Derek by surprise but he quickly recovers and raises his eyebrows in question. Stiles watches them rise and fall and then looks him directly in his eyes before making a decision.

“I love you,” Stiles lets the words out like a breath of fresh air. It’s so easy to say, he decides to say it again. “I love you, so much, Derek.” He says again before planting a soft kiss to Derek’s lips. Stiles hears the wolf whine when he pulls away. He watches Derek’s features turn soft and vulnerable.

“I love you, too, Stiles.” Derek whispers before smiling and Stiles thinks he broke him because he’s actually showing his cute bunny teeth and Stiles thinks he looks like sunshine and he won’t dare to look away because it’s the greatest thing he’s ever seen.

“God, I love your smile,” Stiles blurts out before he can think too hard. Derek blushes but keeps smiling between his boyfriend’s soft hands. “Wanna make out?” Stiles asks casually, lightening the mood before sliding his tongue across his bottom lip. Derek tracks the movement and playfully growls before smashing their lips together.

Stiles moves his hands down Derek’s neck and chest, lifting up his shirt to run his hands along his smooth stomach. He can feel Derek shiver under his touch, smiling against his lips when he does it again. Derek presses his tongue against Stiles’ lips, asking for permission and immediately getting it.

They groan into each other’s mouths as Stiles pushes the tips of his fingers in Derek’s waistband. Stiles tries to pull away to say something but Derek bites his lower lip before growling again. He runs his nails against the wolf’s back as he lets out his own, very human, growl.

“We should… take this… to your loft,” Stiles mumbles into Derek’s mouth pulling his hands back to his chest. “Derek, come on…” Saying his name didn’t help. Derek just flashes his eyes at him and gets an eye roll in return.

They make out for a few more minutes before being interrupted by Stiles’ phone. It beeps in his pocket once before going off four more times.

“I should probably see what that’s about.” Stiles finally gets Derek to let go of him, not that he wasn’t enjoying what was happening. Oh, he was very much enjoying the new things he was allowed to do to Derek Hale’s mouth. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and finds five new texts from Lydia and Isaac.

_From Lydia: Want me to bring The Notebook?_

_From Isaac: hey, Stiles. i got smthg 4 u. :)_

_From Lydia: Or something else?_

_From Isaac: a present. i got u a present._

_From Isaac: i will c u soon. :)))_

“What is it?” Derek looks over Stiles’ fingers flying over the keyboard to type out a reply _._

“It’s Lydia and Isaac. I guess Scott told them already…” Stiles mumbles, distracted by the replies.

_To Lydia: the notebook is gr8._

_To Isaac: :))))) c u soon Isaac_

_From Lydia: You’re the best._

_From Isaac: :))))))))))_

_To Lydia: i kno._

“Isaac is out of control.” Stiles smiles fondly down at his phone. Derek looks at the messages and snorts.

“Let’s get to the loft before everyone else.” Derek nudges Stiles off the couch and pushes him out the door.

“Oh, and we still have two hours before they should get there.” Stiles winks obscenely at Derek, closing the front door behind him.

“Get in the car.” Derek growls, teasing back.

 

They get to the loft in record time with Stiles just finishing up a text to his dad telling him where he is, like he was asked to do. Derek presses the elevator button as Stiles loops his arm through his, resting his head on Derek’s shoulder. They make their way inside, pressed together, when Derek stiffens as they reach the door. Stiles jerks his head to look at his boyfriend, eyes wide in question.

“The pack is here?” Derek cocks his head to the side.

“Why does that sound like a question?” Stiles slides his hand into Derek’s.

“Because I should have known when we drove up.” Derek frowns at the door. Stiles’ lips twitch into a smirk.

“Does that mean I distract you?” Stiles watches Derek physically relax when he looks over at him.

“You always have.” Derek _winks_ at him causing Stiles’ heart to stutter. He sees the glint in Derek’s eyes, knowing he heard it.

Stiles doesn’t care if the pack is behind the door, all he wants is to kiss that smirk off Derek’s face. So, that’s what he does, catching him off guard. He pulls a soft groan out of Derek, which is followed by a load protest from inside. It’s clearly Scott, but since Stiles loves to torture him, he doesn’t let up (and of course, it’s a plus because he gets to make out a little).

Deepening the kiss, Derek slides his hands down to cup Stiles’ ass and lifts him up so he wraps his legs around Derek’s waist. The older man clearly doesn’t care because he growls into Stiles’ mouth when Stiles tugs a little on his hair.

Stiles almost forgets why they were still in the hallway when the loft door slides open with a bang, causing their lips to part. Lydia is standing with her hands on her hips, glaring at the two boys.

“I can’t stand Scott’s complaining anymore. Please, for the love of everything, get inside.” Lydia breathes out when Stiles slides off Derek but manages to flash a sly smile in their direction. Stiles catches the look and tries to hide his blushing cheeks.

Stiles pulls Derek behind him by the hand, into the loft. He looks up to see Isaac, Scott and Kira all staring at him like he’s a delicate flower. Stiles sighs to himself when he realizes what the looks are for. He feels a pang of guilt roll through his chest and can’t help but feel embarrassed and stupid for what happened. What he did to himself. What he put everyone through.

Derek seems to take notice of Stiles’ change in demeanor and walks up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist. He rests his head on Stiles’ shoulder and flashes his blue eyes at everyone. Stiles doesn’t seem to notice this because he becomes very confused as to why everyone has distracted themselves with something.

Stiles sinks into the wolf’s touch, feeling awkward but only for that feeling to be changed when Isaac appears in front of him. Isaac pushes a box wrapped in white paper into Stiles’ hands.

“What’s this?” Stiles slowly takes the box and stares at the other man who is normally brutally honest towards him. Not…giving?

“Part one of your birthday present.” Isaac flashes a shy grin, urging him to open it.

“But my birthday isn’t for like another month…” Stiles trails off as he curiously rips open the box. He sees Isaac shrug in response before he sees what’s inside. Stiles fondly laughs as he pulls a long, red knitted scarf out of the now abandoned box.

“I know you make fun of my scarves but, I don’t know, I thought maybe…” Isaac rubs the back of his neck, not finishing his sentence and is now obviously self-conscious about the gift when Stiles doesn’t reply right away.

“No, Isaac, it’s perfect. Really, I love it, thank you,” Stiles wraps his arms around Isaac and feels the uncertainty fall away from the beta’s shoulders. Isaac rubs his cheek against Stiles’ neck, happy with Stiles’ honest reaction. Stiles pulls back first, smiling up at him and wraps the scarf around his neck. “It’s so soft.” Stiles suddenly becomes distracted by the fabric because he doesn’t see Kira making a beeline for him.

Kira gently pulls Stiles into a warm embrace, mindful of his arms. He hugs her back, only a little surprised. He’s pretty sure Kira has never hugged him before (she almost had to carry him at one point though, after his ‘twin’ made an appearance) but it feels right. She’s pack now.

When Kira lets go, it’s Lydia’s turn to smother Stiles. (He’s not complaining though, Stiles loves hugs.) When Lydia lingers too long, they hear a low growl coming from Derek, who receives an eye roll from the banshee.

Lastly, Scott’s turn is up and lets out a pitiful whine when he shoves his face in Stiles’ neck. “Okay, buddy. Don’t suffocate yourself,” Stiles then wheezes and adds, “Or me,” when Scott grips too hard. He loosens up but keeps rubbing his scent on him. “Love you, too, Scotty.” Stiles whispers into the alpha’s neck, getting another whine. Stiles fondly laughs at his best friend, knowing that even if Scott wasn’t a werewolf, he would still be doing the exact same thing.

After the short hug session, Stiles feels the warmth leave his body. Derek notices and pulls Stiles to the couch, wrapping his warm body around the human.

 

An hour later and twenty minutes into _The Notebook_ , Stiles was still awake, much to Derek’s surprise. He was intently watching the screen like he was trying to memorize every line and every scene. It made Derek happy to see Stiles doing things he used to do.

He watches his boyfriend for most of the movie until he saw his eyes well up with tears. Derek looked at the screen to see the final scene when the couple dies in each other’s arms. He pulls Stiles closer and holds on tightly until the credits roll. Stiles mutters an apology only for Derek to hush him and bury his face into his shoulder and neck.

Lydia was on the other side of Stiles, sniffling with him, even though she had seen the movie a million times with Jackson. (This was the first time without Jackson.) She leans into Stiles, trying to comfort both of them.

Scott saves the day, like the true hero he is and puts in another movie (this time, much more light-hearted). Before pressing play, he pushes everyone off the couch and pulls out the hidden bed. He gives everyone his best puppy look and shoves them all down on the pull out mattress. He then proceeds to cover everyone with blankets and compliments.

“Scott, what are you doing? And I don’t mean the forced puppy pile that’s obviously happening.” Stiles was the first to be pushed (almost too gently) onto the bed. He lays on his back in the middle with Derek curled up next to him. He lifts his head from Derek’s hair and stares at the alpha as he continues to push everyone on the bed.

“I’m being a good alpha… What do you mean?” Scott frowns at Stiles like it’s obvious. Scott lays down on the other side of Stiles with Kira behind him. Lydia and Isaac are on the other side of Derek now, also looking at Scott like he’s lost his mind.

“What, did you Google ‘how to be a good alpha’ or something?” Stiles gently teases Scott but can’t help but laugh when he sees Scott’s guilty face. “Oh no, Scotty, buddy, you actually Googled how to be a good alpha,” Stiles makes a pouty face as he ruffles Scott’s hair. “Why didn’t you talk to Derek?”

“Because Derek was a horrible alpha.” Scott glares at Derek, trying to take the attention off of himself.

“Scott, none of us ever really gave Derek a real chance. Well, except for Isaac,” Stiles immediately comes to Derek’s defense when he feels him stiffen on his side. “Plus, Derek wasn’t even supposed to be the alpha. It was passed down to Laura.” Stiles realizes he’s said too much when there is dead silence and his boyfriend is staring up at him, mixed emotions swarming his face.

“How did you know that?” Derek whispers shocked at the sudden memory.

“Um, well, after I found out that you were just a broody werewolf and not a murderer, I did some digging and found that Deaton knows a hell of a lot more than he lets on. Seriously, he knows way too much for just a vet-,” Stiles stops mid sentence, when he notices all eyes are on him. Derek’s mostly. “Sorry, did I go too far again? Damn it, why can’t I just leave everything alo-.” This time Stiles is interrupted by Derek’s lips firmly planted on his. They don’t stay there long, mostly because of everyone else around them but also because Derek just wanted Stiles to shut up.

“I’m finding that you know a lot more than you’re letting on, too.” Derek lets a small smile slip, not at all worried about how much Stiles knows. It just means Derek doesn’t have to drudge up his past anymore than he already does.

“So you’re not going to run for the hills because I’m a stalking stalker who stalks?” Stiles will never admit how high his voice got at the end of that sentence.

“Never.” Derek kisses Stiles on the cheek before blushing and hiding his face in Stiles’ neck again.

“Pretty sure Derek is a bigger stalker than you.” Isaac pipes up from behind Derek, making the broody werewolf playfully growl at him.

“Oh my god, you guys are adorable.” Kira ignores Isaac and grins at Stiles and Derek, who blushes even harder.

“Why thank you, Kira. I think so, too.” Stiles rolls on top of Derek, pretending to moan, hoping to get a rise out of his best friend.

“Ewww, stop that.” Scott doesn’t let Stiles down. Everyone laughs at their teasing and relaxes back on the pull out couch. They play the movie, make commentary and cuddle into each other until everyone peacefully falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize for taking so long to finish this. But this is it. And I hope it is to everyone's liking. Please leave me comments, it would make my life. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has suffered along with me through this monster that I created. I feel like my writing has improved throughout this and I only have the people who are reading to thank. I love you guys and I am eternally grateful. If you want, I am going to be adding several short stories to my AO3 that I would love for you guys to read. And they will most likely be all Sterek. Sorry, it's a problem I have. 
> 
> (Also, I'm sure there will probably be an epilogue of sorts in the future because I am just horrible at ending things.)
> 
> THANKS AGAIN. <3 <3 <3


End file.
